Even in a Million Years

Thirty seven

Bailey

The interview dropped at 5pm sharp. It helped a little bit, I was being defended a little more thankfully, especially because it was established early on he and I were longtime friends, but there was still speculation. It's precisely why I have barely been on my phone today and left my house once, now sitting in my childhood room eating popcorn and watching a movie with Danny and Arya.

Also feeling like a major third wheel but whatever.

"So you and my brother aren't fucking?"

"Do you have any sort of filter?" Danny questions with a mouthful of popcorn.

"No, get used to it." She states, looking at him before turning her attention back to me, "So?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Shaking my head at her. She of all people should know that neither of us would ever cross that line.

"Liv was pissed so I guess it's not all bad,"

"No that's very bad." I sent a glare her way. "Look  Arya I understand you don't like her but regardless she's your brothers girlfriend and you need to respect that. Aside from that, this may be selfish of me, but if they breakup anytime soon imagine the amount of shit I am going to get for it."

"Or, just hear me out, they break up you work your ass off to get my brother back and the universe is restored and all live happily ever after,"

I know she is joking and I know she wants to make light of the situation but that right there does the opposite. It hurts knowing that will never happen, it would be so beyond selfish of me to let that happen, no matter what I might want and the reminder of that just makes it worse.

Danny immediately noticed how I go quiet, suggesting we turn another movie on. I decide to take a break, leaving to grab more popcorn.

The house was quiet, for the first time in days, everyone was out doing their own thing. My brothers with their significant others, my parents on a date night. Ty and Wes both had work meetings, it was nice to have a second of quiet.

But I missed everyone. I never minded being being alone before, I was okay by myself and I still am, but seeing everyone find their person makes me want something more. Sure I have my job, and my family but I want a life with someone. Even with Vince, I had someone. I mean shit, I feel like I'm third wheeling my two best friends right now. I just want my person.

So walking upstairs, I decide to visit the one who was.

"Hey guys, I think I'm going to go on a walk?" Stepping into my room I place the bowl on my bed beside them. Noticing the two significantly closer than before I left.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I just need some air, besides it's night I think I'm safe from any pictures," I paste a smile on my face grabbing a sweatshirt and sending them a suggestive look "Have fun,"

Arya rolls her eyes but Danny just grins and nods, earning a real laugh out of me. I loved the guy to no end.

The cemetery wasn't far from my house, and the night was nice enough that the mile there felt refreshing. My heart didn't feel heavy until I saw the entrance, and I pushed myself to keep walking straight to the known headstone.

"Hey Jordy," I pick at the grass around me, "I don't know what I'm doing right now, and it's times like this where I'm really pissed you died because you would literally smack me and then give me some really good advice," I feel my eyes well up but I will myself not to let the tears fall, "Though I don't think I'd be in this situation to begin with if none of that happened."