Even in a Million Years

Forty-Five

Bailey

I wake up to birds chirping around me, sitting up slightly rubbing my eyes.

I was outside.

Next to Caleb. Still in my dress with pajama pants slipped on under it might I add, thankfully.

I am never drinking again. I mean it this time.

I wasn't the only one out here. Lexi was on the opposite side of me, Arya and Danny laying down at my feet.

Okay I was in my own sleeping bag.

Why the hell are we in sleeping bags outside?

"You suggested it," Caleb grunts. I may have spoken that out loud. "Shh go back to sleep."

Laying back down I turn to my side to look at him. His eyes crack open.

"This is the last time I'm listening to you when you're shitfaced," he cracks a small smile.

"I suggested this?"

"Yes and you were adamant," he stretches his arm above his head, "Told me I was too drunk to drive home,"

He lives across the street. He wouldn't have had to drive regardless.

"Oh my god," I rub my head. It was pounding.
"Where'd the kids go? We were supposed to be watching them,"

"They're the ones who got us the sleeping bags and are probably knocked out in your bed, where you should be,"

"God please never let me do anything like this again," he just snorts knowing that when I'm drunk there's no telling me what to do, as i will do the exact opposite out of spite.

I think last night, he told me to drink some water and I looked him dead in the eye while taking another shot.

So...exhibit A.

But the night wasn't a total wash, I did what I needed to do to distract him. I remember him laughing, and I'd consider that a success. After the bullshit he's been through, he needed it.

He just groans, turning on his side to face me.

"Hi," I softly smile at him, trying to get him to do the same. "How are you feeling?"

"Emotionally or physically?" He questions

"I know how you're feeling physically," I snort. Sleeping in a sleeping bag outside with no blankets pillows or tents is not easy on the body.

"Well like shit," he shrugs, "It needed to happen, I just didn't want it to happen like that,"

"You're better without that in your life Co," I didn't have a problem with her to begin with but all things considered, she is a piece of shit.

"I know," He nods. It still stung though, I understood. Even after I left Vince, I was still heartbroken.

Trauma bonds are the toughest thing to go through, because no matter what that person put you through your mind constantly remembers the good moments that drew you in. The times when you truly believed they were a good person, and the hope that the person was still in there even as they did unspeakable things to you.

"We're all here for you,"

"I don't want anyone else to know," he shakes his head slightly, "I don't want everyone worrying or walking on eggshells around me,"