Even in a Million Years

Ten

Caleb

I couldn't sleep.

It's only been a day and a half here and I already feel like a fucking mess.

I try to focus on Liv's breaths beside me, it's only when they finally even out that I know she's in a deep sleep and I can slip out. I could feel myself getting more and more anxious as I laid there, I just needed to walk.

Being back here made me feel everything, and it's hurting me all at once. I saw Jordan, I laughed with my family, I actually got to see everyone finally...including her.

"What are you doing up?"

"Shit Ary," I jump at the sound of my sisters voice. I had made my way outside to the front of our house, not thinking anyone else had been awake.

"Sorry," she shrugs with a grin Before sitting beside me on our front porch "Didn't know I could still scare you,"

"Shut up, I've just been on edge,"

"No? Really?"

God no wonder her and Bailey always got along, they're both sarcastic as hell.

"It's hard being back here isn't it?" She questions after a second of silence "Even I'm having trouble and it's only been a few months for me, I couldn't imagine five years,"

"Yeah," I nod "Definitely a lot more to handle than I thought it would be,"

"You missed her didn't you?"

I stay quiet at this, she already knows my answer. She may be the biggest pain in my ass but the bitch knows me just as much as I know her.

"I think she missed you too," She says without waiting for me to answer "She kept glancing over at you throughout the night,"

"You're seein shit kid,"

"I'm only two and a half years younger than you," she rolls her eyes and I can't help but grin "but I'm serious, Colt and I both noticed,"

"Uh huh," I still don't believe her, "You two have always been delusional, maybe some time apart would do you guys good,"

"The assholes my best friend, there's no way in hell," She smirks. She wasn't wrong either, it's been those two since birth and that's all it's been. They were just like Bails and Jordan.

"Yeah I know, I know, I'm just fuckin with you," I nod, feeling myself relax a little more around my sister.

"I know," she smiles "But I'm serious Co,"

"I don't know Ary," I shrug.

"I think you guys should talk," she states simply "You deserve an explanation,"

I glance at my litter sister as she says this. She was being pushy and based on her tone it was almost as if she was ordering me to talk to Bails...not suggesting.

"Why do I feel like you know more than I do?" I question jokingly  but Arya stay quiet almost answering my question.

"You do," I state finally, looking back over at the Kalanski house "Of course you do,"

That hurt. There's no point in lying about it.

I didn't get an explanation, but my fucking sister did.

"Co she had her reasons," She says quietly and I nod.

"I know she had her reasons, I was never mad at her about that, I'm mad that she never once reached out. I just wish I got a little more of an explanation as to what those fuckin reasons were instead of being left to think I fucked up and did something wrong." I state "It's not like she couldn't contact me, all she had to do was ask Beck for my number. I get that she needed a second to herself I needed it too, but eight years and nothing? That's what I'm pissed about."

"I get it Co you have every right to be mad but then again you guys wouldn't be where you are right now if you stayed together,"

Now that I don't doubt. As much as we loved each other, and as bad as things were, we would've gone down some dark shit and I know I wouldn't have made it out if I did.

"I know,"

"You guys should talk," She nods "Aside from the whole relationship, you guys were best friends, Bonnie and fuckin Clyde, who says that's gone?"

No one has.

"You're right," I nod and she smiles a smile that's almost identical to mine

"I know I am bitch," she laughs and I shake my head "Haven't you learned by now, the Kazer women are always right,"

No, they just like thinking they are.

I'd never tell her that, she's my little sister but damn can the bitch punch.

"Yeah whatever," I grin "Aside from all of that, how have you been? I barely get to talk to you anymore,"

"You should call more then," she snorts and I shoot her a look.

"I call all the time, you are the big time law-school bitch who's too busy to answer her big brothers calls," I laugh and she just shakes her head.

"Hey! I'm not a lawyer yet, but things have been good," she nods "I don't know if he told you but do you remember Lenny?"

"Yeah the one blonde that y'all were friends with?" I remember her and Colton had a thing back then. None of us knew what it was between them but no one really questioned it.

"Yep," she grins "Colton ran into her the other day,"

"Really?"

"Yep, they haven't talked in years, but she was visiting her parents in the city," she nods "We didn't even know her parents were there but apparent they moved earlier this year to the city so her dad can be close to his company's office,"

"So how'd that go?" That kid was almsot as whipped as his brothers were back then,

"Good I think, he came home smiling so I can't imagine it was bad," She shrugs "Maybe they'll get their second chance,"

"Maybe they will," I grin "What about you? Aside from your...bet" I try not to gag thinking of it and she just smirks. "You been talkin to anyone lately?"

"Absolutely no one," she grins "You know I don't have time for anything serious right now, I tried that but most guys can't wrap their heads around the fact that they will not be number one on my priority list,"

"You just haven't met someone who understands you as a person and relates to you in that kinda way," She's dedicated and passionate, she needs someone who understands that. "You'll meet that guy eventually Ary, everyone does,"

She just snorts and laughs "Mhm that'll be the day, huh?"

"I feel bad for the poor son of a bitch,"

"Me too," she agreees and we both laugh at her future husbands expense. Will he have his hands full, that's for damn sure. "Okay, it's almost five, I should probably be going to bed and so should you,"

"Yeah, God knows what we'll be doing tomorrow," I snort standing up with her.

"Yeah whatever it is though, we'll have fun, just like we used to," she nods "I hope we will at least, I feel like we're getting our family back,"

She may not show much of her emotions, she's never been one to, but right now was the most hurt she'd sounded in years. I'd forgotten how much Jordan's death had hit her too.

"We will Ary, everything is coming together again,"