Levi x Reader [ oneshots ]

Chamomile

▽Modern AU

△Levi x Reader

△s/he/they

FYI 👉 Self harm present in this story.

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It doesn't seem to stop.

09:34 p.m.

I've been at it for hours now.

Somebody, please...

I want it to stop...but the more time passes by, the more it seems to flow out of me.

No matter how loud or how painful I express it, no one is coming.

Anybody...?

No one ever comes to my aid when I needed them the most.

Never once, not even now, will anyone save me from these clutches...

Please...

These clutches of my inner demons.

Help!

These inner demons eat at me every second of everyday.

Perfection.

The necessity to keep up my status and image.

I'm sorry.

That fake smile I always wear so no one notices that my pain is weighting my sanity down.

That fake 'teacher's pet' demeanor I always out on that breaks down my own morals.

That 'smart child' act that pressures me to no ends.

But it still isn't enough.

I'm so sorry...

It's never enough.

Just like the never ending wave of depression that hits me every time I shut my true self out.

I can't reply what comes to mind.

I can't react like an improper lady and student.

I can't live however I desire to.

I can't let people in truly.

I can't let my life slip yet...I can't grasp it myself.

Make it all stop.

Never will I be able to be free.

Always trapped in a cage of perfection and depression.

Why can't I be free?

Even if I am, I can't share my real self with anyone.

They will only judge me and break me further.

Why won't someone accept me?

Not a single person alive will come for me as I desperately cry myself until exhaustion.

Why can't someone free me?

I looked to my drawer that held the sweet relief to my problem for a temporary time frame.

Am I not worth the effort?

Always having to solve my problems this way.

Always having to rely on these instruments of self destruction.

Am I not worth the time?

One for status.

One for image.