Broken (MinSung 18+)

Chapter 27

A/N: Possibly boring chapter ahead. Necessary for a lot of development tho so I'm not sorry.

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Minho held the younger in his lap, staring ahead while resting his head on the other's shoulder. They had switched back to their original position- cuddling against the headboard with Jisung's back to Minho's chest. Their fingers interlocked and played with each other at the younger's waist as they awkwardly thought about how to go about this. 

"So what more do we need to talk about? Are you not sure what you want to do moving forward? We don't have to do anything you don't want." Jisung started, trying to break the tension as he was becoming slightly uncomfortable in the silence. He couldn't stand too much silence. It allowed him to let his thoughts take over, and that was dangerous.

"I just want to be transparent and lay everything out for you. And I was hoping you could do the same, I guess. I want to know each other better," Minho said, tentatively. 

"I mean you already have my file from Seungmin playing "Mr. Robot" and hacking the hell out of my life-" Jisung started with a chuckle.

"-Hey, I don't want a file though. I want you to tell me what goes on in your head. I know we've both- well, at least I've- been pretty scared to let you know how I feel. Being vulnerable isn't easy." Minho ran his thumb along Jisung's, unconsciously showing how nervous he was.

"I was scared," Jisung started to respond, "but only... because all of this is wildly new. I'm still scared. I kept asking myself like... what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he does and then everything goes wrong? What happens if we get together and then break up- do I have to leave? 

"What if Seungmin gets mad? Do I end up dangling from a bridge somewhere? Do *I* end up in an electric chair? 

What if you get to know me more and then realize you can't stand me? What do mutual feelings even look like?" He rambled, letting out the anxiety that he had kept bottled in for so long. He couldn't lie, though, just letting the words fall out of his mouth felt so, so nice. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't entirely noticed how they had spiraled, or at least the extent of it, until he had voiced them.

"None of those thoughts are about if you don't like me as you get to know me." Minho said, tightening the hug a little, and whispering sadly. 

"That's not possible." Jisung said confidently, leaning back into the tighter embrace.

"It is, th-"

"It's not." Jisung sighed. "This is probably the only thing I'm sure about. You're extremely caring. You do everything with your friends' comfortability in mind. Even in the rare times that you make mistakes, you do it with the right intentions. You look out for others, even if that means putting your own needs and feelings on the back burner."

"I hurt people, though. Everyone's got their specialties and that's mine. I'm the only one here who outwardly... physically hurts people." Minho said, quietly. He tilted his head downwards, burying it into the other's shoulder.

"Yeah. Shitty people. Did you forget how we met, Bun Bun? You thought I was a literal serial killer."

Minho froze as he was flooded with memories of their meeting. 

He forgot. 

He had forgotten everything.

"I... hurt you." He said, remembering how he had slid his knife into Jisung's arm and chest. "I left you-" His body started to tremble slightly as he pictured Jisung's scared, pleading face as he begged Minho to stay and not leave him alone.