Midnight River

Rumble

Gemma's pov
Song inspo - Jericho by iniko

When I arrived at the gym, Cadaver was already there. I was tired after my shift but I was still curious what she was going to teach me. I'd gone back to Soap's room to get changed into more comfortable clothes first, throwing on a pair of biker shorts and one of John's SAS shirts.

I felt sick for most of the day, I had no will to work but of course I did it anyways. He'd been gone for less than a day and all I wanted was for him to come home. He needed to come home.

I knew it'd never get easier and I knew I'd never be able to accompany him in the future. But at least I could fake that bit of hope by asking Senna to help me be more like them. I wanted to be strong, capable. I wanted him to protect me, but I also wanted to be able to do it on my own.

It would also be a good distraction for the time being. My work shifts were long, but I still needed something in-between them and sleep to keep me from worrying.

Senna seemed prepared as well and also ready for a distraction. I would never truly understand, but I felt for her. I couldn't imagine what it felt like being left behind. Johnny hadn't told me why she had been, and I didn't dare ask her.

I wasn't sure what to say to her, what to ask so when she moved to the middle of the sparring mat, I followed suit and stood across from her.

"We're going to start with hand to hand combat. Having a weapon is great but ammo isn't endless and things fail, so sometimes all that you have is yourself." Senna explained and I nodded.

She moved into a stance that I was familiar with, my father had taught me the basics; blocking, observing my opponent and knowing when to strike and when to save my energy. I could disarm if needed, and I knew how to shoot simple guns. Still, that was just my father, Senna had a different expression on her face. Not angry but I knew that this wasn't going to be any basic lesson. I knew she wouldn't go easy on me.

Luckily we did start a little slow, with her only doing the movements to test my reflexes and not actually driving her fist into me. I knew it would happen eventually, and I knew it would fucking hurt.

"You've had training before?" She asked with a raised brow as our hands and forearms met gently with blocks and hits.

"My father was in the military. He taught me a few things." I answered, happy to have something to talk about instead of awkward silence.

I always found her intimidating, and knowing that she was stuck here with me instead of on the mission only made that worse.

"American?" She asked then and I gave a nod. My own accent had changed a bit since I had moved to the UK but the people from here could pick me out easily.

"Branch?"

"Marines." I answered and she nodded before stepping back, letting her arms fall back at her sides. "How serious are you about this?"

Her question surprised me a bit and I wasn't sure how to answer. I wasn't sure if she was sizing me up or genuinely curious. I knew she was protective of Soap, but I also knew she wasn't the type of person to have the talk with me that she did just days before about not letting him push me away. In some way she had to have accepted me, or at least started to.

"Very." I answered.

"Why?"

Again I wasn't sure how to answer and she could sense my hesitation.

"I want to be more like you." I blurted, afraid that she was going to take back her answer.

"You don't want to be like me." Cadaver said easily, like it was obvious. I'm sure I had a confused look on my face so she continued. "I'm not a good person." She admitted.