Midnight River

Mistake

Gemma's pov
Song inspo holy roller by Cyn

I wasn't sure how many drinks we ended up having, enough that when we stepped outside into the cool spring air the rain had stopped and the sun had set.

Neither of us were capable of driving, and the bartender who apparently already knew Soap had taken his keys, promising he could get them in the morning.

I lit up a cigarette as we stood outside the bar, handing one over to him when he held his hand out. However instead of passing him the lighter I leaned in to light the end of his with my own that was already burning.

"What now?" He said slowly. I was going to regret this in the morning, I could already feel the headache starting but I was too drunk to really care.

"My place is just up the road, c'mon." I mumbled, pointing in the direction I was pretty sure was the right one.

"Aye." John said as he slung an arm around my shoulders and leaned into me. We'd had a few more dances the more we drank so his touch didn't really bother me like it did at first, and he was warm.

"You're heavy." I whined at him as he made our way along the sidewalk but he only laughed.

"Want me to carry you?" He asked, moving to take some of his weight off me but it only made him stumble a bit so I wrapped my arm around his waist to steady him.

"Yea right you'll just drop me."

"I would never!" He argued but then laughed again.

We were both drunk, but I think I'd managed to hold my liquor just a bit better than the man beside me.

"What a night." I said with my own laugh, watching my feet instead of in front of me.

"Not what you were expecting?" He asked, leaning in a bit too close when he turned to look at me. Hadn't I said those words to him earlier in the day? I couldn't remember.

"Not at all." I answered him.

We somehow made it to my place in one piece, though it took me awhile to search all my pockets for my keys.

"Ta da!" I declared once I found them, holding them up above us. He looked over at me and we both started laughing. What would my neighbors think? I'd never brought anyone home, and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this drunk. Did I say that already?

Once we were inside I closed and locked the door behind us, kicking off my shoes and tossing my jacket on the recliner.

"Nice place. Oh! There's a cat." Soap said as him and my flame point siamese named Beans had a staring contest before Beans was off to hide. "Awh." He said then, disappointed. Fuck he was adorable.

"Don't worry, he'll probably sleep with you later. Right on your face to suffocate you." I explained as I made my way into the kitchen, hand on the wall to steady me.

I returned a few minutes later with two bottles of beer, tops already popped as I handed him one. What better way to deal with the next morning's hangover than more alcohol?

It was only then, both of us standing too close, that I finally realized we were really alone. More alone than we'd been on that roof. Here I was in my house with a man I just met, both of us drunk off our asses and yet all I could think about was how I wanted to kiss him.

I didn't know him, not really. I knew small facts and tidbits but I didn't really know what kind of person he was or what kind of life he had lived. I think that's what made me want him more, it would be easy to forget about him in a few days. He was just a way for me to satisfy my needs and that was it.

A one night stand, I could do that. Could he?

He was staring at my lips when I looked up at him. John met my gaze then, knowing I caught him. He may have been honest when he told me I was wrong about him just wanting to get laid, but the alcohol had changed that.

Still he didn't move, just stood there looking at me.

"Do it." I ordered, taking his beer and setting it next to mine on the table.

He didn't hesitate then, his rough hands finding the sides of my face as he backed me up against the wall. He kissed me then, his facial hair gently scratching my face. My arms wrapped up around his shoulder to pull him close, I couldn't bear with any space between us.

It had been too long since I really wanted someone, since I kissed another man besides my fiance that I'd lost. I think maybe it had been awhile for Soap too, because I could tell how hungry he was, and I liked it.

His hands slid down to my waist as our kiss deepened and I wanted his rough hand back on my skin. I let out a quiet gasp as his hands slid under the fabric of my shirt and slowly moved up my sides.

The sound seemed to break him out of his trance because he pulled away, though his hands stayed on me.

"What?" I asked, growing impatient.

"I can't do this." He answered and there was shame on his face.

"I'm sorry? Can't or won't? This is what you wanted right?" I jabbed and he stepped back, putting space between us. The bulge in his jeans said otherwise.

"You're drunk, I'm drunk. We barely even know each other." He muttered back, running a hand over his face.

"We're both adults. Who gives a fuck whether we know each other." I argued but I could tell the moment was gone, he wouldn't budge.

"Believe me, I want to." He started and I let out a huff. Typical guy move, it's not you it's me. "But I'm not that type of guy, Gemma." He said then and I wasn't sure if that was the first time he said my name but I hated that I loved the way it sounded in his accent.

"What type of guy are you then?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I don't know, but it's not this. I want to get to know you. You said it yourself earlier, that we couldn't be friends." He seemed sad when he said it, like he had believed me when I told him that.

I wanted to argue that fucking didn't mean we had to be friends but the mood was ruined. How had he managed to suddenly seem so sober when I felt like the room was spinning with my embarrassment.

"You're right. We can't be." I agreed before moving to the closet to get out a blanket and pillow for him and setting them on the couch.

I moved to retreat to my room then but he stopped me by grabbing my hand.

"Gemma, I'm sorry I didn't mean for tonight to go like this." He said, pleading at me with those big blue eyes.

"Forget it. It's fine." I said coldly as I pulled out of his grasp. It wasn't that I was angry at him, just myself for letting it get to this. I should have left the roof when he caught me, I should have never invited him to the bar.

"Goodnight." He muttered quietly as I walked off but I didn't say anything back.

I was too busy focusing on sleeping off my shame and hangover.

This night would never exist, he wouldn't exist when I woke up.