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Oneshot #12

TRIGGER WARNING: Indications of Depression and Anxiety

Her
The window is left open, in his oversized shirt. My mom opens the door, entering
"why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I was just getting ready to go to bed"
Lie
"right... why is your window open? It's chilly"
"just getting fresh air"
"okay, well I love you Kiara. Sleep well"
"love you too mom"
She goes to leave the room, stopping herself
"wait, that top isn't yours? Where'd you get that from?"
"Sarah gave it to me"
Biting the inside of my lip, trying to sound believable
"oh alright"
Leaving the room, finally. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, their just so annoyingly strict. I take out my weed pen, placing it on my side table. I stare at my window, waiting patiently. He didn't forget right? He comes every second day, he's made sure of it since we were ten. There is obviously the occasional times where he couldn't make it, but he'd always text me? My heart hurting just the littlest bit, I begin removing the extra pillows off my bed, placing them in my closet. Just then I hear a wince coming from my window, immediately turning my head back. I drop everything, seeing him climbing through. He gets in, placing my hand in front of him, waiting for a hand to be in mine.
"Are you okay jj?"
Silence, immediately clinging to me. This wasn't usual behavior for him, he never showed this sort of emotion, the sadness in his eyes almost cause me to cry right there.
"Shh, it's okay"
Almost as if it clicks right there as too what was going on, he pulls apart, his eyes still glistening.
"Sorry, I'm fine. Let's smoke"
"are you sure?"
"yeah, yeah I'm sure"
I don't push it, not wanting him to feel pressured to talk about anything he doesn't feel comfortable talk about.
"okay, hold on I put some pillows away"
Walking over to the closet, pulling out them out, throwing them on the bed.
"I don't deserve you"
"what was that?"
"nothing"
Turning back, officially getting all the rest of the pillows, sitting back on my side of the bed. Grabbing the pen, I give it to him, lighting it. We share it between us, talking about random shit.
"Has home been okay?"
"don't call it that."
"I didn't mean it like th- sorry"
"it's fine, just he uhm- he- never mind"
"hey, I'm here for you to talk too, okay?"
"no point, no one cares"
"don't say that. I care"
"I'm just a burden"
"no. Look I've heard you put yourself down way to many times tonight, and I'm tired of it. You're not a burden, you're not stupid, you do deserve me, and whatever is wrong you don't deserve pain"
"I don't Kie. I don't even know why you're still friends with me. I'm a useless piece of shit, I can't even be a proper friend to you. I go days without texting you, I don't take you anywhere fun, I never buy you anything, I'm an asshole"
"who told you all that? Huh? Who told you that. Trust me when I say whoever said all that doesn't know anything about you"
"oh yeah? Well then how does my own dad know nothing about me!"
"because he's the useless one. Don't you see? He's saying all that too you because he knows it's about himself! He needs someone to project those feelings about himself on too, and sadly that is you. I know my words don't mean anything, but I love you so much jj. You are none of those things, none of them. You mean so much too me and I know that is just words, but I'm going to continue to show you how worthy you are. When you're hurt, I'm hurt, that's how much I care about you. Please don't go back, stay, I'll talk to my parents about you staying here. I appreciate you more then words could ever explain, and I'm always always here for you whenever you need someone to lean on because you've done the same for me and because you deserve it. You deserve love, you deserve happiness, and most of all you're needed here, okay? Want a hug?"
Crying now, he sniffles
"please"
"here"
I stand up, my arms wide open, he walks over, wrapping his hands around me. His face nuzzles into my neck, feeling the wetness from his face against my skin. I kiss his shoulder, rubbing his back, trying to comfort him as much as possible.
"I won't let him hurt you again, physically nor mentally, I promise. You're safe now, I'm sorry I didn't know sooner about this"
"you can't promise that"
"damn sure I can"
"I love you too"
I didn't expect him to say it back, though I only meant it in a friend way in that moment, hearing it back makes me feel a type of way. But this isn't about me, it's about him, shutting off those emotions, I hugging him tighter.
"you're going to stay here for as long as you need, okay?"
"what about your par-"
"I don't care about them, I care about you. Are you hungry or anything?"
"no, I just want to sleep"
"okay, you take the bed and I'll get the pull out"
"wait- I don't want you to sleep on the pull out"
He lays down on the bed, facing me
"well I'm letting you have the bed so whe-"
"with me. It's your bed after all"
I smile, not fighting him as that's the last thing he needs
"Our bed now. Go to sleep"
"Thank you for everything Kie"
"always"
I hesitate before kissing his cheek, already hearing small snores, I crawl in beside facing him. Close, I rest my hand on top of his
"If only you knew how special you are jj"

Melia/Serenity talks
Sorry u guys have to deal with angst... to be fair yall picked number 9 and this was 9! Also I probs would have published this first anyway because I am so mentally fked rn like I actually feel like the walking dead. I have a trip Thursday, some other pride trip coming up and a whole bunch more and I am DRAINED. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this oneshot as much as I loved writing it! (I hated writing it bc I hate writing sad shit but I'm sad and cannot write anything happy, but this is my outro so oh well) Ily all and PEACE!

Chapter is not edited

Word count: 1104