LIABILITY - WILCO SOLANGELO

Ch. 14

Hello to my favourite Zombies... This update is on 6/5/23 so if you're one of my older silent readers, here's a heads up... there's been slight changes in chapters 7,8,10 and 13... I apologise for these changes but I had a brilliant idea which I wanted to incorporate. I'd suggest re-reading the chapters if you don't mind... I guess you can just continue with the book if you're a lazy soul like me... you'll figure it out eventually...

NICO POV

"So Mr. di Angelo let's make a deal." Will said. And then he began explaining his deal. It was fairly simple -  a secret for a secret. It reminded me of a soul for a soul but I decided not to wallow in the past. I accepted the deal without batting an eyelid. I had wanted to get the confession of my self harm off my chest since yesterday and if I was getting to know what Jason, Percy and now Will were hiding from me, this was a dam neat deal for me.

Will went first on my insistence. "So what do you want to know Mr. di Angelo?" He asked in a silly accent with a posh tone. He was trying to keep the conversation light. For now at least.

I wanted to ask him about Percy and Jason - it was something I had been trying to uncover for a few months now and it was something Will also knew about as it became evident yesterday. But more than that, a new question was bugging me. What happened to Will last night? And I don't know what came over me but instead of asking the question I'd been dying to know the answer of, I found myself asking, "What happened last night?" Turns out I got both my questions answered in one. Or at least kind of. I got the lead for my next question for sure.

Will took a deep breath. He had been expecting the question, no doubt about it. If I wasn't mistaken, his ten minute disappearance had  also pertained to this. That or he needed to rush to the washroom urgently.

Then he started. "This might come as a slight shock. And I don't know what to say exactly. Percy or Jason would have been better at explaining this but Percy cannot right now and Jason refuses too. He feels I'm the right guy but I have no clue how to break it to you but then again I agreed so I must say it."

He was practically talking to himself and I was momentarily concerned regarding the blonde boy's sanity. Then he shook his head as though rearranging the messed up thoughts and putting them in order. "Do you know what self harm is?" he sprung the question and for a moment, I was a deer caught in the headlights. It took me a moment to decide how to answer. Denying the knowledge may make me seem stupid and despite how much I hated it, I cared about what Will thought of me. At the same time, agreeing to having the knowledge would seem suspicious. Finally I went ahead with a "yes". I could always claim to have heard of it from deceased souls - I had met many who had died of suicide. In fact, it was my discussions with them that made me promise myself I would never make that mistake. 

Will raised an eyebrow when I said 'yes' and he glanced suspiciously at my aviator jacket. I, yet again, had that feeling that he knew. He hadn't confronted me but he had made an educated guess, a guess he wanted to confirm today. I think he was scared to hear the truth and I didn't want to hurt him.

 I was pulled out from my thoughts when he spoke. His statement was like a bag of bricks swinging straight into my face, knocking the air out of my lungs and making my heart stop for a moment. "Percy Jackson self harms." His face paled as he said that and I could see pain in his eyes. He said nothing else, letting the statement sink in. He crouched beside me to guage my reaction. But all this happened in the background. I was hardly aware of this. The news was so shocking that- I don't know - my thoughts were a jumble.

I thought back to his hoodies, Jason constant presence and Annabeth's concerned glances. I thought of the distant look that sometimes crept into his eyes and I cursed no one in particular. I had been so engrossed in myself and my problems I never realised others were hurting too. Pery was my brother. He was so protective over me. Even before Will, he would try to make me eat. Him and Jason were always checking on me. And I? I never did the same. And what's more? They hid it from me. Why?  To protect me? It broke my heart and along with the pain and sorrow came guilt. It came flooding in. If Percy self-harming hurt me this bad, what would happen when I told them that I self harm. I wanted to be angry at Percy for keeping the truth away from me but all the same I knew I had been doing the same thing. I knew how low and broken you need to be to hurt yourself, to feel you deserve that pain and to know Percy felt that way- I wanted to scream at the world, blame someone. How can the strongest demigod to exist break this way? I wanted to strangle the fates. Was this the destiny of the boy who survived everything that came his way? Was this even fair? I didn't even realise I was crying until Will gently touched my back. The same way I had touched his yesterday. I was somewhat pulled back to reality. My answer wasn't complete yet. "And then yesterday. What happened?" I begged him to answer. But the undertone was me begging him to tell me my brother was okay.