LIABILITY - WILCO SOLANGELO

Ch. 27

WILL POV

I was walking to Nico's room with food in hand and a small collection of fresh flowers to replace the old one. I was thinking about other ways to help Nico. Reading up on the subject had given me a basic idea but I could already tell it would take a lot of trial and error. And patience - patience I had but Nico obviously lacked. I was going to sing out, "Honey, I'm home." But the door handle was cold to the touch and brought me out of my reverie. Something was wrong. I opened the door and surely enough the inside was more than a couple degrees cooler. The room was dark and small bones littered the floor. And in the middle of it on, on the tiny bed, huddled into an even tinier ball was Nico. 

He was sobbing and gasping for air. He had his hair clutched tight and was pressing his ears muterring shut up like a mantra. Carefully, so that I don't startle him, I sat by the bed. I emphasised my breathing. Slow steady and loud. Then asking him if it's okay, I pulled him in my arms. We stayed like that a while. Then I replaced my heavy breaths with soft counts for him to follow. He hiccupped a few times and gasped for air but his breathing seemed to return to normal. His hands were in mine after I had removed them from his ears and I could see the skin around the nails was bitten and bloody and he had scratches all over. I walked over to get the antiseptic and began cleaning the wounds out. 

Then I just sat there. I needed to ask Nico what had happened but he seemed so small and tired I was afraid he'd collapse of crying. So I grabbed the plate of food sat beside him and fed him. He didn't pull away, didn't make a sarcastic comment or act brave. He just gave in to letting me feed him. He was done after a few bites and he softly shook his head when I offered him more. And it's okay - ensuring he was eating more could wait for now. Nico was getting restless, wincing slightly and I figured the silence probably wasn't helping. So I began talking, just like I'd done so many times in our spot. 

"When I had just come to camp, I stayed in the summers only. Felix was all year round. I hated leaving him behind. So my mom would let me come by as often as I could to see him. She's one of the most understanding people I know. She understood Felix was lonely and she understood how much he meant to me. Maybe even more than I did. You know when I came out to her she laughed and said, "Ah so you finally figured it out." I was so confused. But apparently it's written all over my face."

"When did you realise?" Nico's voice was sore and quiet but hearing it made my heart soar. 

"After Felix, I guess. I knew Felix was gay but at that point honestly I didn't know and I didn't care. I think it really hit me when someone, in an attempt at spiteful said, "Awwww is your little boyfriend dead?" And I think that was when I realised how people saw us and how I proably felt about him deep down. You tell me how did you find out?"

"C'mon Will the entire camp knows I liked Percy." He replied with a humorless chuckle.

"But is that when you truly found out?" I was trying to egg him on, just so he would speak.

"No, I guess I always knew. I was always more interested in pointing out cute guys than Bianca. No suprise she became a hunter." We both laughed at that. "You know, I wish I could've come out to Bianca. She probably knew. She knew me better than anyone in the world. Still I would've loved to tell her myself." Nico looked up to stop the tears but one rolled down his cheek anyways. Slowly, I wiped it away. He glanced down, looking at me for the first time since I found him crying, "What happened Neeks?"

"I was drawing and I wanted colours from my cabin. And I stepped out and this girl stopped me. She thought I was making excuses for running off. She said death is colourless and the underworld is black and white and so I shoudln't need colours. And that voice in my head just started screaming, Will. It told me- it told me to hurt myself to kill myself. That people already see me as a dead person, that I'm already dead within. But Will, if I were really dead why would it hurt so much?"

Nico's voice broke and he looked at me with tears in his eyes, broken, torn. I didn't know what to tell him. "Nico, you aren't dead. You're alive and honestly I prefer you that way." Nico cracked a half smile and it made me smile. "Nico, you're the most colourful person I know and I'm not saying that because you're gay." His half smile became a full one and his eyes shone with amusement. "Nico you are caring, kind, helpful and brave. You have a dark and utterly stupid sense of humor that makes me crack up with laughter everytime. So what if you wear black you have more colours within that anyone has ever taken the effort to see. And I see you Nico. I see that there is still hope for you. Because you are alive and you have every reason to live. You've fought to keep going on and here I am ready to fight beside you. You are the single most amazing boy I have ever met. And now I learn you draw too! You've never shown me a single sketch and I am offended good sir." Nico laughed this time the tears in his eyes now looking like tears of laughter and I swore to myself I wanted to bring as many of those happy tears as I could.

"Nico di Angelo, I like you. Like really really like you and well this isn't the best time for a confession but hell every moment without you is a moment missed. You're funny, intelligent, brave, pretty damn good looking and a pure kind sould despite everything you've been through. Tartarus brought out a monster in Percy but it didn't get to you neeks because you're special."

"But Will it's hard to believe it sometimes."

"Well then, I'll just have to keep reminding you."

And then he kissed me. And if that's what death tastes like, I'm already addicted. It was soft and slow. Nico's lips were dried and chapped against mine and then all too soon he pulled away. It was a short delicate kiss but one that spoke more than words could say. 

"I really really like you too Will Solace."

So I was gonna be all moody yk... write a filler chapter without an author's note because I'm living in my depressed era but then they kissed. I don't know why it just flowed. I wasn't keen on making a kiss or confession when Nico is in the middle of a breakdown because that doesn't go well with me but hey it fit well here and that means I've got a hell of a flow to work with :) Adios for now my zombies and ghosts