Shadow and Bone - One shots!

Kaz - Sad touches

Kaz always wanted to touch you. But he was so afraid, no matter how many times you comfort him it seems as though he pulled away more. In fear of  you getting too close, he would yell and spew poison at you, nitpicking everything you'd do. You eventually backed off and not a thing had sprouted from you two since. You didn't do the same mission unless needed. You didn't stay on the same floor at the club at the same time. You couldn't even say one word to him and neither could he. You missed him. That bastard. You wept each night and hoped he'd done the same with how much it hurts you. That from a distance he felt your pain and would fall down to the floor in agony. But for now, silence was your only weapon to the battle of loneliness he left you to wallow in. 
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TW: Sad, yelling, aggression

I walked into the club after scavenging the town for some items. The plan was to come in, show Jesper my findings and ask him to have a drink with me.  But noticing he was discussing things with Kaz, I began heading up to my room instead. I felt eyes on me as I  made my way to the stairs, but I didn't turn around and  I was not about to give in. He needed to know I was upset no matter how much I missed him. No matter how much I yearned to talk to him again.

"Y/N!" I sighed and faced the first floor. I put a smile on my face when I saw him.

"Hello, Jesper."

"Didn't you want a drink? Me and Kaz are having one right now! Come join us!" I shook my head.

"Nah. Enjoy your night. We'll talk tomorrow." I quickly headed for my room to not let the conversation continue. Pressing my back to the door and slowly sliding to the ground, I felt my face heat up from anger but tears clouded my eyes. Hours went by and I refused to leave my room. I did every task I could while in there until all was accomplished. Laying on my bed, I closed my eyes and tried to relax but his face kept popping into my mind. The sweet words he used to say to you. His dazzling eyes. His soft lips, never been touched. I sat up from my bed and headed towards my door but it sounded like some else was too. I crept over to the door, laying on the floor and peeked under it. Watching as a shadow stopped in front of my door. A slow pressure made the door creak. Was the person laying their head on my door?

"Y/N..." They whispered. They walked away. Who the hell was that? I opened my door to check but the hallway was empty. I laid my back against the door and softly began to cry. What if it was Kaz and I missed my chance? I got up and walked to the bar downstairs. I sat at a stool and let my mind race. I always pushed the thoughts away but this time I let it happen and I listened.

I loved him. Didn't he love me?

Should I talk to him?

What is wrong with me?

What's wrong with him?

Am I the problem?

A stool beside me was suddenly filled by someone but I ignored it, my head began to hurt. I placed my head into my hands and started to massage my temples.

"I need you to come on this next mission." My hands ceased and I quietly gasped. My eyes guided from the seat to the person's eyes. Kaz. 

"Are you certain?" I sat up straight but groaned as a rush of pain passed over me.

"You're a part of the plan." I looked at him, and I began to shake from anger. I didn't need this. I stood up.

"You didn't need me before but you need me now? What changed? I-"

"I need you." He interrupted me. I shook my head and began walking away. I felt him follow but I rushed to my room and shut the door before he could enter. He opened my door aggressively, hitting the wall. It made me jump and I sat as far away from him as I could on my bed.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" I was frightened, this isn't a Kaz I liked. He shut the door and began to walk towards me. I hit my back on the headboard, he must have realized my worry. He sighed and sat at the end of the bed, running a gloved finger through his hair.

"I don't have any problems." I scoffed and crossed my arms.

"Yeah, breaking my door down, ignoring me, hurting me and pushing me away isn't a problem." His eyes met mine. They were filled with sorrow.

"I don't need you to like me. I want you to respect me."

"You've lost all respect from me, Kaz."

"Will paying you buy the respect?"

"You've got to be kidding." I held my knees to my chest and sighed heavily. "All I wanted was... you." He began to tremble, the hold on his cane tightened.  "I'm sorry. Let's just let it go and you can go back to planning for our mission." He side eyed me and slowly began turning his body to fully face me.

"Like I said. I need you. You are one of my crows. You are crucial to this assignment." His eyes fluttered around the room but mine never left his figure. This wasn't the silent, stoic and rude man I had met the first time I went into the Barrel. He was afraid, concerned and ... overwhelmed?

"Do you need me that badly?" I lightly chuckled to ease the tension, he didn't find it as funny as I did. But he did a funny thing himself. He plucked each finger from his glove and took each off. Gently setting them beside him, he reached out a hand towards me.

"More than anything in the world."  He set his hand on mine, they were trembling.

"Kaz, you don't have too." He moved and grasped my wrist.

"I want to. I-I." Kaz looked at me, eyes full of fear. "I want you." His hand trembled its way to my cheek, holding it tenderly. His body moved closer to me. I allowed him to go at his own pace. He hesitantly kissed my cheek. Kaz's hand moved away as if I was on fire.

"It's alright. I believe you." I smiled at him.

"I will always want you." He ignored my words but I'm kinda glad he did.

"I want you too."  He put his gloves back on and walked towards my door. He looked back at me and shut it. His words stuck with me the whole night.

                   "I will always want you."