It Takes Time

6

Aizawa was hoping that he wasn't making a huge mistake with this. He had invited her for lunch on a whim, really. But the more he was thinking about it, the more he was sure that he was just getting himself in more trouble. And by extension he would probably also get Y/N in trouble. He had left the teacher's lounge early and now he was sitting at a table, waiting for her to show up. Maybe she had changed her mind?

But she would surely let him know if she had actually changed her mind. Aizawa was just way too early, and he was nervous, and he was doubting every single decision he had made. But how could he have said nothing, after he had seen how shaken up she was after Hizashi had knocked over that cup?

It was just a cup that had been knocked over by accident! But she had almost jumped up in place and she had made herself look small again, as if she wanted to be invisible. And Aizawa had noticed how much her hands were shaking afterwards. He had sent Hizashi and Nemuri out, so he could ask her if she was okay, but of course she was going to give him excuses. He wondered whether he was overthinking this.

Either way, he had to find a way to keep his feelings in check. He had to figure out some way he wasn't going to fall for her more and more. Because it wasn't right. She was married, and yes, her husband was an idiot, of course. But if he assumed too much, he might push her away fully and he didn't want that. Not if she might need his help in the future. And he was sure that she'd need help at some point.

Still, it was hard to just be a friend to someone that he had feelings for. He hoped that he'd be able to manage it, despite it robbing him of his sleep. Aizawa had never been a great sleeper. He slept a lot, yes, but it wasn't good sleep. He tended to wake up easily, he tended to get nightmares and when he was supposed to sleep, he usually had trouble getting to sleep. He knew he should probably see some doctor about this, but he didn't have the time for that. All he could do was struggle on.

Aizawa let his eyes roam over the students that were coming down to get their lunch. He still found it difficult to keep names in mind, but at least he had gotten used to remembering his own class. At the beginning he had struggled even with that. All he had been seeing at the time was Oboro's face. It had freaked him out at first, but over time he had gotten used to it. It barely happened anymore now.

He could pick out a few of his own students in the queue now. He often wondered what they were thinking about outside of class. What they were doing all day when they weren't training or studying or doing their homework. Aizawa wasn't really a fan of giving homework, but the curriculum was so strict and there was so little time that it was often necessary. He knew that the students hated it, but he hadn't made the curriculum. If he had been responsible for it, it would look a whole lot different, that much was sure.

It was only then that he spotted Y/N in the crowd. She was blending in so easily with everyone else. If she wanted, she could have been invisible. Aizawa wondered whether he would ever have caught feelings for her, if he hadn't been the one that was sent out to bring her to the office. Maybe he would have barely noticed her then. Just another face in the crowd that wasn't Oboro and never would be.

This was another reason so many of his relationships had failed – he would always start to think about Oboro more. He would get irritable and moody, and he'd get scared. He'd get so, so scared that he might lose another person he cared about. He wasn't sure whether he'd be able to deal with it if it happened again. He hadn't even been able to deal with Oboro's death properly. It was what had messed up his sleep schedule in the first place. It was still messing up his life to this very day. It would always be something that haunted him and Aizawa had no idea if he would ever be able to get over it.

He focused on Y/N again, as she was ordering. She had a slim figure, almost a little too thin. She seemed exhausted and there was this constant anxious aura around her. But she was still so beautiful. Aizawa couldn't get enough of her (h/l) (h/c) hair or her gorgeous (e/c) eyes, even when they were filled with tears and glassy. He was in deep. He was in deep, and he didn't know how to get out again.