It Takes Time

12

Of course, the same pattern that had been there all along crept into Aizawa's interactions with Y/N again – she was acting distant and aloof, as if she couldn't care any less about him. She still seemed terrified and shy, insecure, and like she wanted to be invisible. Aizawa had hoped that after they had talked about everything, things might change, but she was still in the same situation, and she still wouldn't talk to him like a normal colleague. And Aizawa didn't really think of her as a regular colleague anymore, anyway.

He had heard about one of the most traumatising things in her life. To him that was solid friend territory, not just workmate territory. But Y/N stayed professional and distant and even somewhat cold at times. Aizawa wondered if she'd ever come around – she needed to get out of this marriage at some point, that much was clear. And Aizawa didn't just think that because he had a little crush on her.

It was frustrating to see her live such a sterile life, where she had nothing but work and being at home, taking care of a man-child with anger issues. He couldn't imagine that it was much of a life at all. It seemed depressing, more depressing than the life that Aizawa was leading, and he was pretty sure that he was depressed most of the time. He didn't have much free time, and when he didn't have to work, he would be fast asleep, trying to avoid thinking of either Y/N or Oboro. If he wasn't depressed, he didn't know what he was. Maybe a very functional alcoholic, judging from how he would tend to get blackout drunk whenever he was out drinking, whether it was by himself or with his friends.

Maybe Aizawa wasn't the right person to help Y/N any way. Maybe he should sort out his own mess first. But he was a hero, damn it. If it wasn't people like him that would help people like Y/N, then who would it be? Sometimes, Aizawa thought that no one else even cared enough about other people, because after all, that was what the heroes were there for, wasn't it? People just didn't care anymore.

It was an incredibly depressing thought, but it had been at the back of Aizawa's mind for a long time. Maybe this entire hero society hadn't been a good idea in the first place. Maybe things were never supposed to be this way. Maybe it was something that people just couldn't deal with in a healthy way. Maybe it would be better if it was all torn down – but then again, Quirks existed, and there needed to be some regulation as to their use. Otherwise, a lot of people would have very unfair advantages.

Aizawa wasn't sure where exactly they had all gone wrong, but he knew there were some things that had gone wrong somewhere, even though he wasn't sure how to fix them. He didn't like thinking about it because he would get incredibly depressed. He was glad that he was already in the bar near U.A., drinking with Hizashi, where he would hopefully be able to forget about all those depressing things for once.

He didn't even know how Hizashi was still his friend – Aizawa had always been rude and anti-social, especially around someone as loud as Hizashi. That man was going to make him go insane at some point, but strangely he had resigned himself to just hanging around him, trying to ignore his antics. It had definitely all been easier when Oboro had still been around. It felt like he had been the glue holding everything together – not just their friendship, but everything. The world, Aizawa's life, everything.

Aizawa took another big gulp of his drink, hoping it would help him to forget about Oboro for a while. Hizashi sighed and gave him a serious look – which was a rare thing for Hizashi, since Aizawa was convinced that he simply could not be serious whatsoever. Like, he wasn't capable of it, if his life depended on it.

"What is it?" Aizawa wanted to know. As much as Hizashi annoyed him, he also didn't like it when he got serious. Mostly, because that meant that there was something seriously wrong that he couldn't joke about.

"That's what I wonder. What is it with you lately?" Hizashi asked him. Aizawa raised his eyebrows at him.

"What do you mean? I'm fine."