It Takes Time

17

Y/N knew that she was just making a terrible decision, but she couldn't help it. She had been trying, she really had tried to stay strong, but Haruto had been so insistent, and he had been wearing her down over the last few weeks. Y/N hoped that Shouta wouldn't be too angry with her. She felt like she was being ungrateful, but she just didn't want to give up on her marriage just yet. Maybe Haruto deserved one last chance.

It had been a few weeks since she had left, and Haruto had stopped harassing her by showing up at Shouta's apartment. But he still sent flowers and letters to the place, no matter what Y/N did. And he seemed so apologetic. It seemed like he really wanted to try and change this time and Y/N was almost reminded of the time they were going out. Things had been good then, hadn't they? And if Haruto really wanted to put in the work, who was she to tell him that he couldn't change? She had already been wavering when she went to text him to stop sending her things and to leave her alone. That was the mistake.

She had him blocked all that time, but she unblocked him to tell him to leave her alone and that's how he managed to get back into her head with his apologies and all his talk about how he was an idiot and how he had been so wrong, how he didn't deserve her and that he was so lucky to have had her and that she should just give him one more chance, because otherwise his life wasn't worth living.

Y/N had genuinely been concerned that he might kill himself, just to get back at her. She wasn't sure whether he would actually do it or not, but she didn't want to risk it. She didn't know how she might react if he actually did kill himself and blamed her. Y/N didn't know whether she could take that, so she folded. Here she was, on the train back to her husband. Back to Haruto, but hopefully this time it would be different.

She had given him a lot of conditions for her to come back and he had agreed to all of them. She had told him that she wanted him to get therapy. She had made him promise that there would be no more hitting her, there would be no more destroying things, and she would get to keep her job. He would let her go out with her workmates and let her talk to Shouta. He would try and keep his jealousy in check.

Y/N didn't really think he was going to stick to all those things, at least not in the beginning, but maybe it would get better if he got therapy. That is, if he would actually go. But he showed her the therapy sessions he had booked; he had showed her the receipts for already having started. Maybe there was some hope that they could salvage this marriage somehow. Maybe it was worth it to give him another chance.

Of course, Y/N hadn't actually told Shouta about this in person. She didn't have the heart to tell him, and she also knew that he would be able to convince her not to do it. And then she would feel awful when Haruto would be begging her to come back home, when he would wear her down again and again.

Maybe she was giving in to easily. Maybe she was weak. But what was she supposed to do? Didn't everyone deserve more than one chance? Y/N was starting to feel sick thinking about it. So she didn't think about it anymore. She was distracting herself by thinking about her work, instead. It was her day off, but it was the only thing that had nothing to do with her husband or with Shouta. She was thinking about the files she had been putting away during the last week, about the things she would have to do once she got back to work in two days. It helped for a while, until she remembered that she was going to see Shouta again, once she got back to work. She didn't know how he would react.

Of course, she hadn't just left without telling him anything at all. She had left him a note. He was at work and as soon as he had left, Y/N had started packing up the few things that she had, and then she had written the note, before leaving the apartment. She had dropped Shouta's keys in his letterbox, so she wouldn't be able to change her mind and go back. She only had one place left to go and that was back to Haruto.