Mom,
It's getting hard again. I knew it would be for a while. I mean, I know what Carl is going through. Mourning a father is no easy feat and a lifetime wouldn't be close to enough time to mourn, but we don't have a lifetime.
Carl is still in this other world, a world that I can't join him in. He goes silent for days, not wanting to speak to me about how he is feeling or what he needs— just silence.
Luckily, he hasn't been in one spot. He's traveling a lot more, going in between Alexandria and Solaris multiple times, staying with Michonne for a few days at a time. Tris has become the Second Commander Pro Tempore. She and Leon both insist for me to have faith that Carl will find a way to bounce back, but I don't think he can— not without Michonne or Judith. He needs his family, but he won't listen to me when I say he needs to return. He says that he'll be okay and that he only needs some more time, but I'm scared.
I love him, God knows I do, and I would do anything for him, but the people are starting to wonder. They see their Commander is not as involved, instead hiding behind closed doors. I am behind those closed doors, watching him just to make sure the boy I love is okay.
It's times like these that I wish I didn't have a community depending on me.
I would give so much to be with you and Hershel and Enid in Hilltop, void of responsibilities and living a life that maybe held some form of peace with Carl by my side. I know that it's an impossible dream, but I can only hope.
It's funny. Carl held so much hope that he started to make me believe there was something more. But now he has lost his hope and I must try to do for him what he did for me. Hope.
~ Clary Rhee
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hiraeth | c.g. |
Fanfiction(n.) a deep longing for something, especially one's home. C⃠G⃠ - Book 3 of the Virago Series C⃠G⃠ -all rights reserved to AMC and those involved in the making of The Walking Dead. My character and her story is of my own creation. start: july 2024 e...
