Death with a kiss

Thoughts..

I layed in bed and looked up at my cieling. It's covered in glow in the dark stars. I put them up there when I was eleven, thinking that having them closer to me would help me reach them one day. I don't know why, but I've always had this feeling that once I reach them I'll reach complete happiness. Like it's just a magical place. Right now, I felt like I had reached them. Adrian was back. I can't believe I had even been able to seperate from him. But I had to come home to sleep. Even though I was probably not going to get any of that tonight.. I smiled, just thinking about him gave me these wild butterflies in my tummy.

What had happened to Luke though? If I kissed Adrian again...or any other guy, would thaty guy just disappear and Luke reappear? Is this what my curse was? I grew sad, even though Adrian was back, Luke had to go for him to come back.... And how was Adrian able to be so understanding? When I told him he should look in the mirror it only took him seconds to accept what he saw. As for me, every time I saw him it was no longer Luke but fully Adrian that I saw. But could I live like this? Knowing that someone had to die for my happiness? I know it wasn't fair for Adrian to die but it's not fair for Luke to die either.. It literally hurt me to think about this, my life was such a mess.

I sighed and jumped out of my bed. I looked at my clock, it was 2:20 a.m. I'm so happy I didn't have school tomorrow. I walked over to my bathroom and opened my mirror cabinet. I quickly found my sleeping pills since I only have like three things in there. Two should do it, I thought and I swallowed them whole and put the bottle back in it's place. It was a bad habit of mine swallowing my pills whole and without water, but I was too lazy to get a cup and all that. As I walked back to my bed I felt myself getting sleepier. It couldn't be the pills could it? Well I guess you never know with me since I'm not exactly human. It has been a while since I've touched those pills so I didn't exactly remember what it was like to take them.. I crawled into my bed and yawned.

Wait, I thought, what did Adrian mean when he said he was sorry he had hurt me? He never hurt me... And then I blurred into a dream..

*A dream*

"Happy birthday, honey!" I heard my mom cheer as she opened my door. I peeked from under my sheets to find her bright and smiling, standing right next to my bed. I opened my mouth to tell her it wasn't my birthday, why would she even think so?

"Mom-"

"Shhh...." she said, quieting me down and putting her finger to my lips. She looked into my eyes with her deep chocolate brown ones that had crinkles from smiling on the side. She smiled then, but I saw pain in her eyes. She put her blond hair behind her ear on her right side, closed her eyes, and nodded, as if reassuring herself that something had to be done.

"Mom.." I started to say. But she ignored me and quickly bent down to pick something up from the floor. It was a bookbag, a light blue, shiny bookbag. The kind with the flippy top that you tie shut and a small pocket in the front  that has a zipper. She held it by her side and with her free hand she helped me up and out of my bed. As I stoop up I realized that I was wearing a white silky sleeping gown, not at all what I went to sleep in but it was beautiful.

"I know this is going to be hard, honey." she said, looking intently into my eyes again. She grabbed my hand and lead me out of my room into the long hallway.

"I know this is going to be hard, honey.." she repeated as we reached the end of the hallway and walked into a room I never knew was there. It was plain and white but somehow cynical. It was empty and had only a closet. My mom rushed me over to that closet. She turned to me and seemed to calm down. I noticed that she had been breathing rapidly and was regaining her normal speed slowly.

She then put the pale blue bookbag in my hands but she herself did not let go. Instead she put her free hand on top of both our hands which were tightly holding on to the bookbag. She closed her hand around mine gently and sighed. "This will be hard Kim." I heard her say for the third time. "But as long as you have this, you'll be fine." tightining her grip on my hand a bit. She let go then and let me hold on to it on my own. "I love you." she whispered, kissing my forehead. I wanted to hug her but before I knew it, she was gone.

I looked at the closet. What's happening? Why do I need to go into a closet? I don't know but the more I looked at it the more I felt like I needed to go inside. Finally, I just decided I'd do it. I went in, slowly and cautiously. But as soon as I was fully inside the closet the door shut behind me. I looked back alarmed by the sound. It was dark in here, dark and small. I looked back to the back of the small closet which my body was facing. I was inches away from it. Suddenly and out of nowhere a mirror appeared in front of me. And although it was dark I could still see a reflection. Although who's reflection I wasn't quite sure. It looked kind of like me but a much more beautiful version of me. She had my eyes, my hair, my skin tone, my face structure, but somehow she was way more beautiful than me. I tried touching the glass to see if it was really a mirror. But as soon as my hand hit that glass my reflection started changing. It turned into... Adrian? It was Adrian, and he was touching his hand to mine, well not really his hand but the reflection of it. What was this?

I brought my hand away from the reflection and it did the same. But suddenly it started changing and transforming into.. a monster. That was the only way I could describe the horrid image appearing before me.

It was a pale, it had the form of a human but no face really. Just a hole for the mouth that had teeth coming out and two slits for eyes that were pure black. It's head was facing up but I think that's how it was normally. On it's body it had millions of cuts that looked like they had come from the inside out. I saw some smoke coming out of them too as if they were burning. I backed away from the mirror immediatly. I felt for the doorknob as the thing in front of me started to come closer to me, no longer acting as a reflection. I found it but it wouldn't budge. I screamed at it and remembering that I had my bookbag with me I threw it at it, in a sad attempt to make it get away. I screamed again and closed my eyes not wanting to see what happens next.

But when I opened them everything was gone. I was in a room again, it was colorful and gave me such a happy feeling. And falling from the sky were pictures of me through my childhood, thing's I've written, memories. Is this what was inside that blue bookbag? I wondered...