Death with a kiss

Going our seperate ways

"Mommy nooo... I don't want to! Sleeping is so nice!" I whined as my mom tried waking me up.

"I'm not your mom silly" I heard Toni say before giggling.

I opened my eyes, remembering that I had slept over at Toni's. "What time is it?" I whined.

"Well you're certianly not a morning person.. haha you're such a grump all the time Kim. Lighten up, you're way too young."

"Well, I'm glad to see you're happy this morning. So full of complements." I say sarcastically, I was happy that she was happy though she had a tough day yesterday. It was nice to see her sincerely smile again. Then her face turned serious.

"Kim, is there anything you need to tell me?" she asked, looking worried sick.

"Wha-what do you mean Toni?" I said, starting to stutter a bit. I was nervous, had I done anything to make her suspect..?

"I don't know.. Well, you were having this nightmare I guess and you were crying and talking to yourself. You kept on asking yourself why you.. murdered Adrian.. And well, my first reaction was to try and wake you up and let you know it was a nightmare. But when I started telling you it was only a nightmare you started.. talking back. It was scary Kim, you talked to me as if you were wide awake. And you told me that it wasn't just a nightmare. You said you blamed yourself for Adrian's death because you were what killed him.." she looked scared, scared and worried. "It all seemed so real, Kim. I'm not even sure if it was just a nightmare.."

I sat there for a while hugging my knees to my chest, resting my chin upon them and looking down at my bare feet. Would Toni understand? Would she accept me? How could she? I couldn't even accept myself. But this was Toni, she knew what it felt like to not be accepted. I thought about telling her all the time. It would be such a big change in my life. However, I didn't know if it'd be a good one or a bad one, that all depended on how she saw the facts. Better not take the chance...

"It was just a silly nightmare, Toni. Nothing more." I said, trying to smile it off. Toni just looked at me as if to say "I know you're lying Kim, please tell me the truth". She waited patiently.

When I said nothing more, she spoke again. "Kim, just tell me k? You know I'll back you up with whatever. I know you too well to know you wouldn't harm a fly." Her forehead was wrinkled with worry. Maybe she would understand.. I did need to tell someone.. This could only make our bond stronger right?

"I'm a monster, Toni. I killed Adrain, I killed him, I killed him." I was crying now, I was freaking out, it was all just coming out of my mouth. It didn't even need my permission anymore, it had waited too long. I was sobbing now, resting my forehead against my knees and rocking back and forth. This was the first time I had admitted to my horrible sins in front of someone, especially someone who was so speacial to me. It was all probably going down from here.... but I couldn't stop now...

"Toni, I can take people's souls. I didn't know though, I swear. Taking his soul was a mistake.. I didn't know Toni." I had stopped crying so much, I was now looking up at her for a reaction. I saw her eyes get wide.

"No that doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about KIm?" her voice was trembling a bit, I think with fear.

"You can't be afraid of me Toni! You said so yourself, I wouldn't harm a fly. It wasn't on purpose!" I pleaded.

" You killed Adrian."

"Not on purpose.. It was through a kiss, Toni listen to me." she said she would understand...

"No, no. When you said you had killed him.. I thought it was going to be something like leaving the candle on and having it start a fire.. I don't know.." she shook her head looking down and trying to sort her thoughts. She looked so confused and hurt, she was trembling, and I think I saw tears in her eyes. "That's not what you meant though. You killed Adrian. You're some soul thirsty monster..". She shook her head again and closed her eyes with her fingers on her temples. She looked like she was having a hard time understanding. "Oh my gosh.. Get out! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!! GET OUUUUTT!!! OUUTT!!! OOOUUUUTTT!!! OUT, GET OUT! GET OUT!" she started screaming. I looked at her, hurt. But she was just shouting at me and shaking. It was like she was having a mental melt down, she was just freaking out.

"Toni..." I tried to talk her out of it. I wanted to make her see that I wasn't so horrible, I hadn't done it on purpose. If you think about it I was kind of a victim too... She wouldn't listen though she just kept on screaming for me to get out, so I did. I walked out of her bedroom and the door instantly slammed behind me. All I heard was Toni's sobbing.

I walked myself out and closed the door lightly behind me, knowing this might be the last time I even touched her door. Once it was closed tears started to come out of my eyes. Lots and lots of tears. I cried silently and pressed my forehead against her cold apartment door, still holding on to the doorknob. I couldn't let go because once I did that was it. I guess I was wrong. Our bond didn't become stronger. It broke. Now I was alone. Completely alone. I was alone and my own best friend, my own sister, hated me. Of course I was hated, I was disgusting, completely repulsive. I deserved this. I stopped crying and let go of the doorknob. Cleaning my tears away I turned to leave. This was it.