Crimson & Clover

Ma

"I know what will cheer you up."

"What's that?" Tom asked.

"A meal at Ma's."

"Are you sure your mother will be o.k. with that?"

"When isn't she o.k. with feeding another person?"

For years my mother had been used to feeding five people. First paw died, then Sue-Ellen, my sister, got married and moved to Texas with some oil prospector who seems to always be prospecting but never making a dime, and finally last year, my younger brother was drafted into the army.  Now it's just the two of us so Tom was always a welcome addition. Having the extra body at the table took a bit of the bitter edge off ma; well most of the time anyways.  Tom was also the only other person left in Orange County besides me that had seen, and could handle, the many faces of Ma.

For dinner tonight, Ma made her Orange County famous meatloaf.  I'm not being sarcastic here.  Her meatloaf was out of this world.  It wasn't dry like you'd expect but rather moist.  She added home made tomato sauce and fresh herbs from the garden.  When I was a kid and a friend would come over, the first thing they would ask was if she had some of her meatloaf in the fridge.  Look, if I'm spending this much time describing meatloaf, it had to be good.

I drove up to the house and carefully parked next to Ma's car, half on the grass and half on the pavement on our undersized driveway.  I don't believe the home builder understood how big cars were when he built it.  The driveway was much too wide for one car, but nowhere near large enough for two.  I never got it. 

When we first bought the house this was a really nice neighborhood.  As newer areas were built it didn't seem as nice anymore.  In the fifties everything was built smaller.  The homes around here were all one floor bungalows.  I suppose it was so that all of the vets coming home from Korea could afford to buy one.  In the sixties, all of the newer developments were spacious two floor homes with the bedrooms upstairs.  My mom would drive past the new neighborhoods and marvel at the palm trees that stood tall in front of the entrances to those developments.  Timing is everything, she would say with despair.  She always felt that timing for her would never bring good fortune.  She was born at the end of the First World War.  She lost her mother to the Spanish flu outbreak that the soldiers brought back with them from Europe.  In World War Two she lost two brothers.  One of them was killed by friendly fire and the other one died in a battle after the Germans had surrendered.  Evidently, not all of the Germans realized the war was over.

After we moved to California from Iowa, my father bought this house in Orange County.  Three years later, once the styles completely modernized, Ma tried to sell it but nobody wanted to give us what we had paid for it.  It seemed that buyers weren't interested in these older styles with so many new neighborhoods popping up.  Some of them even had mature orange trees in their backyard.  Ma loved orange trees.

I felt really bad for Pa.  He had worked hard his whole life to get us the few things we had but Ma always seemed to want what he couldn't afford to give her. 

Pa died of lung cancer in 1962.  In 1964, the surgeon general of the United States declared that smoking may be hazardous to one's health.

To top it all off, as if Ma hadn't lost enough family, last year, my younger brother got drafted into the army.  He was twenty-one years old, studying to be a doctor at the University of California at San Francisco better know as UCSF.  The army needed doctors so my brother is off at war.

Tonight, Ma seemed a bit edgier than usual as she roughly shredded a head of lettuce in the sink.  She muttered something, inaudible to herself.  I wasn't going to ask what was wrong.  She might tell me, and lord only knows, I couldn't handle anything else today.  First I thought I was getting fired, and then Tom had an emotional breakdown.  I wanted to enjoy this day.  Was that too much to ask?

We didn't speak much during supper. The dinner table is usually its quietest when the food is good so Tom thought nothing of it. The only noise was the sound of cutlery clanging against the plates.  When guests were around Ma tried to hide her emotions. It was very different when we were alone.

"Thanks for having me for dinner," Tom said with a mouthful of food.

"Anytime," she replied, never looking up from her plate.

"O.K. ma," I finally gave in.  "What's going on?"

She sighed, "I just got a letter from your brother."

I knew my day would be ruined.  That's just the way it is.  Nothing good ever lasts long in this family.

"Is he alright?" I asked.

"Here, read it for your self." She handed me the folded letter.  Most of it was the usual kind of stuff, I'm doing well, I miss you, how's the family, until he got to the end where he started with "by the way."

By the way, next week I expect to be sent to be sent to the mainland where I'll be working as an emergency surgeon.  Don't worry.  The army says that medical areas are rarely targeted by the enemy. I'm serious Ma, you don't have to worry.

Ma looked at me with angry eyes.  She never said it, but I'm sure that Ma wished it was me being shot at by the Gooks instead of him, the doctor, but I was the one supporting the household, so for now I was off scot free.

I was always jealous of Brad, until now.  He was the child that my parents did everything right with.  He was the youngest, so they doted over him, making sure he always did well in school, getting him piano lessons, going to all of his high school basketball games, the list goes on.  Me on the other hand, I was the middle child, the one that Ma forgot existed, until I was needed to pay the bills.  She didn't do it on purpose, I think.  It just happened.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," I told Ma while realizing full well that nothing I could possibly say would comfort her.

"How can he be fine with bombs dropping all around him," she exclaimed. "I can't believe my baby is in a war."

"I have a cousin who is nurse in the army," said Tom. "It's true what Brad's telling you. The enemy stays away from medical targets. It's a courtesy given by both sides."

Ma placed her hands on top of Tom's. "Thank you so much for your words of encouragement," she said to him. "You've always been such a nice boy."

I don't believe what I'm seeing, I thought to myself. She's thanking Tom? I'm the one who's there for her day in and day out paying all the bills and she's thanking Tom? On the other hand, I probably shouldn't expect anything less from her.

After dinner, Tom and I decided to head out to the Starlight Club in Hollywood.  It was safe to say that both of us needed a night out, but on the bright side, we would be taking out my new set of wheels.