Crimson & Clover

The Surprise

The meal was served in the grand dining hall, a richly appointed room with an ornately painted ceiling, something you might expect in to find in a church, in Rome.  There was an enormous crystal chandelier hanging precariously over the table.  I wondered how on earth any ceiling could safely hold such immense weight. 

Her grandfather noticed me staring at it.

"It's from Russia," he proclaimed proudly. "It took'em two months to ship it here and another three weeks to put it up. We needed new beams put in to support the weight." 

The house had two dining rooms, one for small events and another one for large gatherings like tonight.  This evening there were so many guests that the children were in the small dining room which had a table set for twenty.

In the main hall, Betty's grandfather sat at the far end of the table in front of the largest turkey I had ever seen.  Betty and I sat at the middle of the table so that each person could easily say some snide comment about how if I hurt Betty they'd kill me, or they'll put me in the foundation of the next high rise they were building, or, and this one was my personal favorite, they'd sell me as a white sex slave to a savage African tribe.  The guy said he could get three ivory tusks for someone like me.  "Honestly," he said, "I really could."  Betty couldn't help but laugh at most of them.

"I hope they're not scaring you away," she whispered to me, semiseriously.  "I would understand if you never wanted to see me again."

"Did you bring me here to get rid of me?" I asked, "Because if you did, your plan has backfired miserably."

Betty seemed pleasantly surprised.  "Really?" she asked.  "You like my family?"

I winked at her.  "I did much worse to my older sister's boyfriends.  That's why she was so eager to run away to Texas."

Betty smiled.  She had a beautiful smile that lit up any room.  I suddenly realized how lucky I was to have her in my life.

"Did somebody say Texas?" Her uncle Tex hadn't been able to hear a word we were saying.  No one could have, I assumed.  Yet when he heard the word Texas, well I swear I saw his mustache smile.

"I did," I replied.

"What about Texas?" he asked. 

"My sister married an oil prospector from Texas," I answered.

"Oil, you say.  What's that man's name?"

"Teddy Braggs."

Tex paused deep in thought.  "Teddy Braggs....never heard of him.  Before you go I'll give you my personal phone number.  Give it to Mr.  Braggs and have him call me.  I'll show him where the serious prospecting is at."

"That would be very kind of you, sir," I replied.

"Aw, to heck with Sir; call me Uncle Tex."

"Alright, thank you Uncle Tex."

All at once the entire table stopped their conversations and stared straight at me.  Even Betty was shocked.

Tex looked around the table, then back at me.  "Son, I was just kidding.  You have to call me sir" he said as he slowly moved his hand down to his pistol.

The table burst out in laughter until Irma stood up, yelling at her husband.

"This is no way to treat a guest!  Now apologize to the nice boy."

Tex sat silently in his chair, belligerent to Irma so she slapped him across the back of his head.  "I said apologize to the boy!"

He lifted up his face slightly.  "I'm sorry," he sheepishly said to me.