Crimson & Clover

Getting Out of The House

Betty had asked me to come to her grandparents for Thanksgiving dinner a couple of months ago. I said yes because I wanted to sleep with Betty, not because I wanted to meet her family. Usually my relationships would have ended around now but Betty had me captivated unlike anyone before. She had complete control over me except now I was starting to wonder if all of this control she exerted over me was because we had never slept together. I just wished we could have done the deed already so that I could think with my mind instead of, well, you know.

Another reason I stayed with Betty this long is because she made me feel good about myself, which in my world was rare. Betty seemed to be impressed by the little things I did, such as opening the car door for her or asking her where she'd like to go for dinner instead of simply deciding for her myself. You're sweet, Adam, she would tell me, quite often. Her compliments meant a lot to me because she was a woman who could have anyone and yet she wanted to be with me. I may have been full of myself but I knew I was no Hollywood movie star. Betty would tell me how wonderful it was that I took pride in being the best at what I did for a living. If she only knew how I did it, I wonder how'd she'd feel then?

I behaved differently with Betty than I had with other women I had taken out. My usual date would start with picking up the girl, taking her to some nice, but not too expensive restaurant, then trying to find a place to park and make-out. If my date was during the day then I would take her to a hotel along the beach where we could spend the afternoon and then go back to the room for some fun. Everything was always on my schedule, at my pace.

Betty was different. It was as if everything in my life was turned upside down when we were together. For once I was not in control. I found myself looking in store windows for little gifts I could give her on our dates. I actually experienced butterflies in my stomach when I knew we would be seeing each other.

Even so, agreeing to meet her family was something I never would have done.  I mean, who knew we'd still be a couple in November? My relationships simply never lasted that long.

I was preparing to leave for thanksgiving dinner when Ma stopped me at the door.

"Where do you think you're heading off to?" she asked.

Damn, it's Thanksgiving. I couldn't say I forgot about it because I knew I was going to Betty's parents' house to celebrate it, but the truth is I actually forgot about Ma. It's not as if she had spent the week cooking or it might have occurred to me to say something to her.

"I'm going to a girl's house for dinner," I nervously told her.

She was obviously disappointed but tried her best not to show it. I'm not sure why. This wasn't like ma. "Are you serious about her?" she asked.

I believe this was the first time I had ever thought about that. We had been dating for almost four months and the question never even crossed my mind. All I was ever able to think about was why on earth was she still with me; that and when will we finally have sex. I never believed that Betty would ever get serious with me. We never talked about it, but in order to get away with seeing her tonight, I would have to lie.

"We're pretty serious," I told ma.

"Do you think you could marry this woman?" she asked.

Marriage? Was she seriously asking me about marriage? Ma never liked any of the women I'd ever brought home, so the past couple of years I'd simply stopped bringing them over. The truth is I was never serious with any of them and most of the time Ma was right not to like them, but still I never felt that she would ever want to see me get married. I was the only one left in the house, but I still had to answer her question. Could I see myself marrying Betty? I suppose I could, but the real question was; could Betty see herself marrying me?

"She's definitely marriage material," I finally told Ma.

"Then go and have a good time," she replied. "I'll be fine on my own."

I'll be fine on my own. That's all the guilt I was getting. No tears, none of the "how could you do this to your mother?" Why did she have to be all nice about it for? Now I felt guilty. I went back into the kitchen and called Betty.

"Can I bring my mother," I asked her. "She has nowhere to go tonight."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. That could only mean one thing, the answer would be no.

"I'm so sorry," she said in a soft, caring voice. "Any other occasion and I would love to have her but just not tonight."

Not tonight? I had to know why. "How come?" I asked. "Is there not enough space?" I know that wasn't the nicest thing to say to her but this was a little strange.

"There was something very special I wanted to share with you this evening," she replied.

She didn't have to say another word. Tonight would be very special indeed.

As I walked out the door ma looked at me. "She doesn't want me there?" she said. "Your little tart doesn't want you to spend Thanksgiving with your mother, but it's perfectly fine to spend it with her family?"

I can't believe she listened to me while I was on the phone. Now I feel even guiltier.

"You don't understand, Ma. She said that they would love to have you any other holiday," and then I made some stuff up. "They even invited you for Christmas dinner."

"But I'm not good enough for Thanksgiving," then she asked, "Is she even Protestant?"

"No ma, I believe she's Catholic." The dejected look on her face was more guilt than I could handle, although more would be coming.

"How'd you even meet her?" she asked.

"I picked her up in a bar." I think I was being brutally honest in order to hurt her for all of the darned guilt she spewed at me. She stood there silent as I walked out the door.

As I got into my car I saw Ma standing on the front lawn. "I already don't like her!" she screamed. Ma would later find many more reasons not to like Betty.