37 Days

Day 2 - Jay

bleak day. gray, steel, overcast sky.

the house was abandoned. braydon had a soccer game, which stepmother and dad were at (without me of course, who needed me?). annika was with her friends.

silence. cold silence, pressing down on me.

i almost wished they were here.

grabbing my sweatshirt, i ran down the stairs.

i'm going out to the park -jay

the paper sat alone on the counter, an island of crisp white. tucking my keys in my pocket, i headed out the door.

the lock slid shut behind me as i headed down the dusty sidewalk.

it took seven minutes to reach the park. i sat down on a wooden park bench, watching the little kids who ran and screamed, their faces glowing with innocence and happiness.

rays of sunshine, unknowing of the rainstorm of reality.

i shivered and pulled on my sweatshirt as wind started to blow, hissing through the branches of the trees and ruffling people's hair. rain began to fall, droplets like tears hitting my face. little kids shrieked as parents began to herd them towards the cars sitting in the distance.

i shifted my gaze, looking out over the swing set in the distance, where a girl was sitting.

her.

i blinked, trying to remember if the girl i had seen yesterday had been her.

the same light hair. the same pale skin. the same hunch to her shoulders.

it was her.

without thinking, i stood up and walked over.

i wonder what she was seeing yesterday.

i wonder why she was afraid.

it only occurred to me later how stalker-ish and creepy i was being.

i sat down on the swing next to me and she looked up, her eyes piercing me with a gaze that could cut glass. she looked away after a moment and went back to scuffing her foot against the ground.

"i think i saw you yesterday," i finally said.

the girl jerked up, her eyes narrowed.

wary.

she didn't say anything, but looked away.

"i saw you sitting on the curb. you looked afraid." stop talking, i told myself. you're probably freaking her out.

"i don't know what you're talking about." the same fear started to light in her eyes, a dim spark that was slowly kindling. she breathed in sharply, balling her hands into fists, and slowly exhaled. the fear blinked out. she said that sentence in a way that made me know she knew exactly what i was talking about.

"i was driving by. to my dad's house. my dad and my stepmother. i have to stay there...for the summer."

i felt the urge to tell the truth, to finally tell the truth to this stranger, this girl sitting next to me in the park. maybe she was a stranger. maybe i didn't know her name. but to me i felt i could share anything with her.

i hate summers. i hate being here.

i'm so alone. an outsider in a perfect family that doesn't need me.

the girl simply watched me, her gray eyes unblinking.

"i shouldn't be there. they're the 'perfect' family. my dad left my mom and i behind for a reason. they don't need me. they don't want me. i never feel wanted."

the words tumbled out and i suddenly stopped, aware of what i was saying. heat spread through my cheeks. humiliated, i stared off into the distance.

why am i spilling this to a stranger?

because i can tell her this and never see her again. i can tell her the truth because i don't know her. i can tell her the truth because she knows nothing else about me. i feel a connection. it's not like i'll ever see her again or anything. i just want to get this off my chest.

"there are worse things," the girl said softly. "there are more painful things out there, pain that doesn't just last a summer. pain that lasts forever."

startled, i stared at her. "what do you know about pain?" i finally said. i immediately wanted to slap myself.

the girl pinched her lips together and i remembered her on the sidewalk, crying and rocking back and forth. something i always felt like doing, but never did because of all the "be a man" comments.

"my name is elle," she finally said. she held out her hand and i shook it.

"my name is jay," i replied, and for the first time it what seemed like forever, the corners of my mouth upturned into an unfamiliar smile.

hugs and kisses to all readers, voters, and commenters. thank you so much! :)