37 Days

Day 2 - Jay

the coffee shop was small and cramped but brightly lit, full of people chattering and flipping through newspapers over coffee. the clink of dishes. the hiss of steam. the laughter of people.

i breathed in the scent of coffee and cookies.

"i'll order." elle slipped away, leaving me to find a pair of stools next to the counter facing out onto the window.

the window was blurred with water, rain falling in sheets onto the street as cars streamed by. colorful blurs against the grey world.

"here."

a coffee plunked down onto counter before me and elle sat down, taking a sip of her own coffee.

"um, thanks," i mumbled, wrapping my hands around it. "i'll pay you back. tomorrow."

"it doesn't matter. it's fine." elle stared out the window, taking another sip. the hot coffee warned me inside.

we sat in silence.

i watched her. the broken, quiet girl who silently suffered.

what is she suffering from?

does she suffer like me?

maybe we're both silent sufferers.

"what were you scared of?" i finally asked, taking a gulp of the coffee.

strong and bitter.

just like me.

she didn't say anything for a moment, simply staring at me. her eyes were gray, as gray as the moon, little moons of light. with crevices. craters of pain.

finally she said, "everything."

"why?" curiosity entered my voice.

shutters went up in her eyes again, as if she was holding back the truth. the truth about her fear, about her pain. elle looked away.

"doesn't everyone suffer? we all just suffer in different ways. you suffer too. some people are just better at hiding it then others."

we sat in silence for the next hour and a half. but sometimes silence is the best noise.