𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 // Guts x reader (+18)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝 | ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕔𝕒

Around an hour later Sonia messages you to come outside and eat breakfast.

She smiles like a child meanwhile and doesn't even try to hide her attempts of touching Griffith. You need all your concentration to not vomit on your plate. If there's one thing you truly abhor it's cheeky, touchy couples that almost fuck around strangers.

Guts on the other hand doesn't even seem to see it. He is completely in his own world, eats his bread, drinks his coffee and doesn't talk.
Better for you so you don't get a reminder of your awkward encounter this morning.

Griffith is the one questioning you about your night with a voice rich of scepticism. It's like he wants you to confess that you've found the picture although he can not know about it.
As he begins to ask more personal questions you eventually decide to turn the tables.

"Have you two always lived here alone?", you ask and peer at Sonia whose smile drops slightly much to your entertainment.

Griffith folds his hands graciously. A silver lock dangles in front of his face. 
"Why do you ask?", he replies with thin lips and squints his eyes.

You make a gesture to show the size of the apartment.
"It's pretty big for two people and surely you didn't plan to have a room just for guests", you explain yourself.
You assume that Griffith and Guts aren't the kind of people who let friends stay over regularly.

Griffith smiles flatly and breaks the eye contact for a second.
Guts grows extremely quiet and stares at something that isn't there.

"Yes", Griffith gives in with a cold voice, "we've not always been alone. A friend of us used to live here, too. In the room you slept in."

You nod although you're not yet satisfied with his answer.
Clever to avoid the gender.
Sonia is already boiling due to the possibility that her lovely Griffy could have shared a life with another female being.

"Where is she now?", you want to know because you really are interested. What kind of woman could be close with Griffith and Guts?

Griffith raises his white eyebrows.
"She?", he repeats mildly.

So he likes playing dumb. Good to know. You dislike him more from conversation to conversation.

"Your roommate. I just assumed it was a woman. Am I wrong?", you respond and pour yourself another glass of orange juice.

Thin ice. Very thin ice you're stepping on.
Sonia's eyes bore into yours as well as Guts'. The difference is that Sonia's eyes are filled with jealousy and greed while Guts looks tired.

"Indeed. It was a woman."
"A friend", Griffith adds after seeing the rage in Sonia's eyes.

You nod and take a sip of your orange juice.
Your eyes wander to Guts who didn't touch his food since you picked up the topic.

You set down the glass.
"Why did she move?", you ask bluntly.

As Sonia's cousin you take yourself the right to question her boyfriend.

Griffith's eyes dart to Guts. Your heart beats faster. It's the first time he is unsure of what to say.
So you really hit a spot.

"She- Some bad stuff happened here which is why she had to leave this place behind in order to ... move on."

Silence fills the room.
Unexpectedly it's Sonia who breaks it.

"What was her name?", she demands.

Griffith inhales to answer her but Guts interrupts him.
"Casca. She committed suicide last year in another country due to her trauma."
His voice is flat, monotone.
Guts' eyes however mirror the pain he feels as he speaks the truth. It's the first time he shows an actual emotion.

Remorse silences you. You had expected something else. Like Griffith and Guts fighting over her and her eventually leaving so she can live in peace again.
Not this.
Casca.
You recall the image of her on the photograph. She looked happy but who know how she had felt inside. Terrible, obviously.
You feel bad for hurting Guts.

"I'm sorry for your loss", Sonia calmly says to Guts as if Griffith didn't lose her.

Guts doesn't acknowledge her hence she turns her head back to Griffith who suddenly is busy cutting apples.

The suffocating silence continues for the rest of the breakfast which is why fortunately it ends soon.
Sonia of course needs at least another hour to get ready. Weren't it for the urge to go you wouldn't care about it but now this means you gotta wait in your room - Casca's room - and get bored.

***

Finally, finally you leave the house and almost run towards the van. Home awaits you. You turn around as you stand next to the van to watch Griffith hug and kiss Sonia. Guts didn't come downstairs to wish you farewell. Somehow it doesn't bother you. You already learned that he isn't the type to talk more than necessary.

After what seems like ages Sonia is eventually able to let go of her lover. Not forgetting to confess her feelings towards him for a thousand times on her way back to you. At this point you show your disgusted facial expression because of her cringe behavior. This really has to end.

Sonia overlooks this and unlocks the vehicle. Excitedly you jump onto the passenger seat and make yourself comfortable. Sonia takes a seat, too, turns on the van and waves Griffith goodbye.
You also look towards Griffith. His gaze gets cold when it meets yours. A simple nod is all he gets from you as Sonia turns the van and drives off.

"So. How do you like Griffith?", she asks a few minutes into the drive.

You hesitate and don't meet Sonia's eyes. You need to find an adjective which doesn't sound like you're whitewashing Griffith and doesn't give Sonia the impression that you'd like him.
"He ... uhm seems caring", you answer with sweating palms.

"Oh he totally is ... ", Sonia begins and you let your breath go in relief.
You didn't trigger her. Yay.

Now she can talk you to death about the ways Griffith proves that he's the best boyfriend in existence.
Guess what? He surely isn't.

You gaze out of the window while Sonia brabbles non stop. You're so lost in thoughts that even you can't tell what she's saying.
Guts constantly appears in your mind.
Although the two of you didn't really have conversations you feel a comfy warmth pooling inside you when thinking of his calmness. Something about him is ... interesting. So interesting that you feel a bit - only a bit - sad to leave him behind. Perhaps it's because you know you will never see him again. You'd have loved to find out more about his life.

You sigh and smile to yourself.
Hopefully Serpico doesn't notice anything about your mental absence.

As you're thinking of him your smile grows wider. The visit payed off after all. You got your music sheets and something new to practice. You can't await Serpico's reaction.

"... don't you think?", Sonia's voice interrupts your thoughts.

You look up and stare into her expecting eyes.
Shit.

"Y-yes. I agree with you", you reply as it's the only right answer for her anyway.

She seems satisfied and continues. A second later your mind continues to circle around a certain, trained man.