Survivor's Remorse

(VIII)Girl Talk

Peeta's hand just barely manages to catch my wrist, tugging with every ounce of strength he possessed as the claws on my ankles threaten to pull me down to the pits.

"It's ok.... just, let me go!" I smile up at him somberly

"Never!" he snarls through his teeth

Gale and Katniss are with him now, all tugging me up as they yell  not to give up. When my body flies through the lip of the cover, Peeta quickly tosses the Holo into the hole. It blows us all a good ten feet forward as guts and blood come flying out the sewer.

My head is in a million pieces. I push Peeta and the rest away from me.

"Go! Leave me here! I can hold them off. They want me! The mutt! Let them have me! I'm staying here where I belong! I'm their mutt!" I snarl unseeing to anything but my reflection in their disgusting eyeless faces as I yank at my hair wildly

Everything is crashing around me, atomic bombs going off in my head. It all burns. From head to toe the flames are swallowing me whole just as they did to so many in 12.

Until I feel his lips on mine.

I feel whole with the sun overcoming any and all heat that tries to stand up against it, warming every atom of my being, swathing me in the scent of cinnamon and honey. His tongue slides between my lips as his searing kiss envelops me, drowning me with tenderness and passion. The flames are smothering. The bombs quieting. When I open my eyes, I see Peeta with a clarity I hadn't been able to after the Capitol had taken me. His honey toasted eyes hold mine with warmth and fear, the gold flecks pulsing and piercing through to a piece of me they'd attempted to tear from me.

"We promised" he gasps, his hand on my cheek, forehead against mine
"Stay with me" I breath against his lips
"Always"

Our promise. This I remember.

"Let's go" he nods before threading his fingers through mine and tugging me to my feet.

He sprints with me down the corridor. Gale and Pollux each have one of Finnick's arms over their shoulders as we dash forward, winding through the winding path that both Pollux and Cressida seem to have an internal map to.

The only thing keeping me anchored here was Peeta's hand in mine, his fingers squeezing every so often as he pulled me with him. Probably afraid I was still suicidal. Cressida checks the street and leads us to a safehouse as we wind down the intricate Capitol streets. It turns out to be a clothing store for fur and animal print clothing. The woman who opens the doors wears a large hood but, after some quick words about the rebellion and Plutarch from Cressida, she quickly ushers us inside.

When she removes her hood, I feel a deep compassion and kinship with her. So many body modifications to make her look like a tiger. She even had the stripes, eyes, teeth and metallic whiskers coming from both cheeks. This is what Snow wanted to do to me. This is what he could've done, had Haymitch and Cinna not interfered when and as often as they did. She looks me over with curiosity and I can't help but step up to her so we're barely 3 feet apart. Unlike everyone else that usually cowers at my proximity, she smiles. Peeta steps with me, still not trusting to let me go I suppose.

"I know you. You were a stylist for the games. Snow do this to you?"
"When he decided I wasn't committing to my name or pretty enough" she snarls, her pupils expanding with her rage

I tilt my head and smile widely at her, which she returns upon seeing my still bloody teeth.

"Me too. I'm on my way to kill him y'know"
"Sisters" she purrs