𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 | 𝐃. 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐎 |

CHAPTER 26.

Deuce Christopher Tatum

Going cold turkey is one of the worst feelings that I have ever felt in my life, but even though it's a definite struggle, I have to keep reminding myself that doing this is good for not only myself, but it's also good for my family and myself. While putting myself through this "cleansing" (that's what I called it), it made me realize that for years I had been making my family watch me struggle without even realizing it because I was so wrapped up and dependent on alcohol to determine what mood I was in. It was as if I was Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde in some way, shape, and form. I wasn't even myself, because, when I look back at photos and videos; I don't recognize myself, but now when I look in the mirror, I look and feel like myself...and I feel happy.

I've also noticed that my family dynamic has been different...well, at least towards me the dynamic is different. My mother—and yes, I'm talking about Amour—and my father, well, they've been off ever since that moment in Memphis and when I ran into Ella. I know those aren't the only reasons, but I know those are the reasons that have officially set her off. I think it's Amour holding my father at a distance, and because my father knows he's in the wrong, he does this thing where he hovers instead of just apologizing, and I can tell that day by day, it's slowly making Amour's anger stronger.

Good luck to him, because when she's mad there's no turning back...

I have also noticed that Amour has been a tad bit more emotional lately. Like she's already an extremely emotional person—trust me, she is. I saw her reading a book called Kindred Spirits and she started crying when one of the characters stopped eating. She's a crybaby—. But now, she's been reacting to things based strictly on emotions. Like the other day, I reminded her that I'm going out of town for Spring Break with Malachi and a few of our friends—including Nadia, shockingly—and she broke down into tears. Like what the hell. I didn't want to ask why she's been so emotional because Lord knows how she'll respond, so I just leave it alone.

Right now, I'm going over my notes because I have a test next week and need to get my grade up so I can bring my GPA back to a 4.0 instead of the pending 3.200 that I have now. It's not a bad GPA, I mean I have two C's and two A's, but that's very unlike me to even be okay with having a C show up on anything, so I've been doing extra credit, convincing my professors to give me more time and push deadlines back, while also dealing with the normal work that has already been assigned.

The faint sound of a knock on my door made me take off my AirPod Max headphones, hanging them around my neck, and getting off of my bed, walk over to my bedroom door, and tugging it open. When I opened my door, my father was standing on the other side with this look on his face. I could never put my finger on what the look on his face expressed, but I always knew that he had gotten that look on his face whenever he wanted to talk about something serious, which meant that he had something on his mind more than usual.

I wondered what he wanted to talk about. I hope he wasn't going to scold me because we had been doing so well with mending our bond back and getting back to a good place.

A sheepish smile formed on my face as I stepped back, allowing my father to step inside my bedroom and sat back down on my bed. I watched as my father looked around the room as if he had been in here for the first time—I didn't find it that odd, since he barely came inside my room since we had gotten back from Memphis and I had holed myself in here for about two to three weeks. I think my father is bad with confrontation and facing things head-on, and I also think he didn't want to see me going through a difficult time because that's exactly what I was doing for those two to three weeks. Like, I was in really bad shape and it seemed like the only person who could handle that was Amour. I was still in a pretty bad state, but I was to a point where I could function and not turn into some kind of insane, overly emotional, struggling feen and could actually act like a real person and show some signs of me being myself.