speak softly

the room you left me in

i've whispered your name in a dark room.
it's the only place i can find what's left of us,
the only place you can see me.
heartbreak is common for me,
usually it's fault of my own.

but to have someone stretch their limbs so far they outgrow you,
that's heartbreak of a different kind.

i would have loved you in the dark.
i would have loved you in the corners that dust inhabited.
i would have loved you in ways that were untouched for so long,
it's a love that is new again and again and again.

but i wouldn't have given you peace.

so i swallow my pride in this dark corner.
knowing i've been left for your bright, big and beautiful sun rooms.
left for your endless summers,
left for the walls you are painting,
left for the home you've already built in your mind.

and to know you've built it without me,
with such summer radiance,
with such certainty,
well that's a pain that wreaks havoc in my lungs-
winding me before i knew you were gone.

but maybe it's all in due time.
maybe i haven't quite healed the grief before you.
maybe this is an uprooting needed to leave my dark corners,
find open air,
and forget the names that litter my bedroom walls.