speak softly

shadow

i've sealed the envelope one last time.
every letter i write,
falls into the bin at the corner of my room.
there is no where else for my my heart to bleed.
the image of you has been dusted onto my fingers,
and smudges against each page until all i see is an awful, vacant gray.

i have drained my heart before.
i have carried a heavy organ in my chest for what feels like centuries-
just to empty it on page after page.

when will i take up the space in their rooms?
when will i become the one to fill the vacancies,
the tug on their arteries like a harp,
playing a melody that will echo in their ears forevermore.

i think at the end of the day,
i wanted to mean something to you.
i wanted you to carry the weight of me all the way to your new kitchen-
and to find me dancing as a shadow under your refrigerator light.

i want to be haunting
the way they all have haunted me.
i want to mean more than a passing memory,
a curse underneath their breath,
a before that makes the after look more vibrant.

i am exhausted by temporary bliss.
i am a sight to behold until they have learned of new colors.
i am the lesson-
the inbetween.

but i beg you to look at me,
and for my image to burn your irises.
to become more than a shadow,
to become your moon.