Use me - ᴛᴀᴇᴋᴏᴏᴋ

021

Taehyung

I had nothing to say to him. He was my past. He wasn't relevant anymore. I had Jimin. But still, I thought every freaking day about him. I cried myself to sleep, when Jimin didn't notice it. I missed him. More than anything. But he was gone. He wasn't my boyfriend anymore and I was happier without him.

But why did I start smiling whenever I thought about him? Why did I always think about his sweet way to say "I love you", his smile when he liked something and his whole handsome face?

Why didn't I think like that about Jimin? Why couldn't I just love Jimin like he loved me? He was the perfect boyfriend, we had so sweet moments and hot nights. But it didn't feel right.

He wasn't the one who had stolen my heart. Who made my heart flutter whenever I saw him. Who I loved. I liked Jimin, but I didn't love him. It wasn't the feeling I had felt with Jungkook. It has been such a long time, but I still couldn't get him out of my mind. I wanted to wake up now. From this bad dream of loosing Jungkook, lying in his arms. That was what I wanted. But I couldn't get it. Jimin was my boyfriend and I wasn't enough for Jungkook, since he had broke up with me.

He didn't like me, I wouldn't like him anymore. He wasn't the person I loved, it was Jimin. Park Jimin. My own boyfriend. Why would I think about someone else than him? He tried his best to make me happy.

But he couldn't.. not like him, he was different.. he was perfect, yes. But not perfect for me. Jungkook was the person who made me completely happy, not Jimin..

Nothing could change that. My love for Jungkook was too big. He was the person I needed. He was the person I'd love to give my world to. No, he was my world.

But I couldn't concentrate on him. I had a great boyfriend who loved me. And now I actually had to go to this boyfriend.

But instead of going back to Jimin, I left school early. Tears were rolling down my cheek, while I called my parents to tell them, I'd join them for a year living in America. There I wouldn't have to see Jungkook again, there I could forget about him. I wrote Jimin a small message and packed my stuff.

Tomorrow, I'd leave this country. I'd go far away. Jimin had asked to join me, but I had told him, I needed a year alone. To think about everything, to get a clear head.

But before I left, I did a last call. Jungkook didn't answer, so I just spoke. "Jungkook. This is a goodbye. I'll do my last year in America, we won't see each other again. Have a great life and forget about me." I wiped away my tears.

"I love you."