Torn

Part 10

"Would you want to be in a serious relationship with me?" 

Stevie's hand stilled, she then put the pen down and turned her head to look at Lindsey, who lay in bed beside her, as she pushed her glasses down the bridge of her nose slightly, a week or so later. She was surprised that he was doing something on his phone after having asked that question. It was as if he'd asked her if she could get him a glass of water.

"Is this a joke?" Stevie raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"No, I'm dead serious." Lindsey shook his head as he finally put his phone away and his full attention was now on her. 

"And how would that work exactly? What, with you having a wife and all." Stevie added, feeling as though he was mocking her.

"Having a wife and being happily married are two different things, Stevie." Lindsey said, he reached to take her hand and began mindlessly kneading it with his fingers. It was a sign he was nervous and he was. He'd been doing a lot of thinking ever since her birthday. "I love you, you know that."

"Lindsey..." Stevie sighed, shifting her gaze away from him. "We've had this conversation a thousand times and nothing's changed."

"It's entirely my fault. We're not getting any younger." He shrugged weakly after he'd moved to sit so they were facing each other. "I've used the same excuse for not taking any action and doing something."

"When yours kids are a little older." Stevie said it before he could.

Lindsey nodded his head. "It would hurt them immensely, but... You make me happy. We've hit a few bumps lately and you kinda been acting a bit weird, but I know you love me too. It's not fair for me to be playing with your heart like this."

"What are you-" Stevie paused, she frowned. "Are you trying to say that you're thinking about..." She didn't dare say it out loud.

"Divorce." Lindsey confirmed. "I've done just about everything to move on, Stevie. As you can tell, I haven't succeeded yet." She smiled somewhat sadly. "I've been in love with you since the fucking 70's."

Stevie chuckled lightly, bringing her hand up, she caressed his cheek. "You don't ever have to doubt my feelings for you." He grew quiet, he hung his head and she instantly concerned. "What is it?"

"I don't want to start an argument." Lindsey said, tilting his chin up again. 

"You've got something on your mind?" Stevie swallowed uneasily. 

She wonder, how well had she been hiding whatever it was she had going on with Dave. Nothing, it was nothing. A one night stand, that's all. A one night stand she'd never predicted, constantly thought about, but still, that was all it was. Yet, it would absolutely hurt Lindsey if he found out. It wasn't the 70's anymore or even the 80's. This affair with each other was all there was supposed to be.

Lindsey hesitated for a moment. "I know, I don't have to question your feelings, but at the same time I feel like something's off. You're not pushing me away, but there's-" He paused, thinking of how to put it. "Like, there's something I don't know."

Stevie shifted in her seat, she reached for her unfinished glass of wine on the nightstand. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know." Lindsey repeated, now sounding a bit more agitated. "You tell me." He shrugged, awaiting her response.

"There's nothing to tell." Stevie lied. After what they'd just talked about, there was absolutely no way she could admit anything. 

"Really?" Lindsey looked so vulnerable all of a sudden, she felt a pang of guilt.

Forcing a smile, she nodded her head. "Really."