Torn

Part 20

'David,

Forgive me, again, that you have to read this. Just the thought of saying these things to you in person shattered my heart into pieces. 

I've known you as a friend for a long time and one day, out of nowhere, you changed my life forever. I've been the happiest I've ever been during the last several months and it's all thanks to you. I can't help but think of my life as before you and after you. 

Before you, I held onto something that had died a very long time ago. I believed every empty promise, I held out hope, I had no other option. I was grateful for tiny little crumbs of what I could have had and it used to be enough.

After you, I know that it isn't. When you said, you loved me, I know you meant it. I felt it. And it's true. You loved me intensely for a few short months and I couldn't possibly explain to you how grateful I am for that. Every time we saw each other, your beautiful big smile and your wholehearted laughter lit up my world. The adoring look in your eyes made me feel things I haven't felt in forever. You cared, you took care of me. Most importantly, you showed me that if I'm not meant to have my happily ever after, I didn't have to settle for second best either.

I'm sorry for being a coward after everything you've done for me, but I had to do it this way. We need some time apart. You have to go back to being a husband and a father, I have to go back to doing what I love most - healing people's hearts through my songs, while my own is broken. Remember me as a beautiful episode of the wonderful movie that is your life. 

I hope that before long we see each other again as great friends that we have been ever since we met. It's okay to be sad for a little while, I am, but please know that I do not regret anything for one second.

And...

I love you, too.

S.'

~

Stevie blankly stared at the clouds through a small window of the plane that was taking her and the other members of Fleetwood Mac to finish their tour overseas. She wondered if Dave had already opened and read her letter. She hoped that he'd miss the dried out stains of her tears on it. She couldn't imagine that that one kiss months ago was going to lead to another heartbreak. She should have known better, she should have pushed him away. She definitely shouldn't have let him back in. It was her own fault, she did that to herself. She should have played her role as Lindsey's mistress for as long as he was interested. That heartbreak was familiar, she knew, how to deal with it. This? She hadn't quite figured out how to deal with this one yet.

"You'll be happy to know that Kristen hasn't spoken to me in weeks."

Stevie frowned at the intrusion as she glanced back over her shoulder to find that Lindsey had taken up the seat next to her. 

"She even brought up divorce." Lindsey added. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Stevie sighed heavily, she didn't want to do this right now. Or at all. "Your wife considering leaving you isn't the same as you choosing me, Lindsey."

"The end result is still the same." Lindsey shrugged. Her tired face and puffy red eyes somehow went unnoticed by him. 

"Except that I'm no longer interested." Stevie replied, bringing the tissue she'd been holding in her hand up to dab at her nose. 

"No longer interested?" Lindsey sat back, what? "Christ, don't tell me you and him are still a thing."

"Him." Stevie scoffed. "His name is Dave and you'll be happy to hear that it's over."

It would have been a lie if he claimed otherwise. "I mean, it's for the best. You had some fun, but you had to know that there was no future there."

Those words stung, but she had absolutely no desire to keep the conversation going. "Yeah, you're right." She agreed, no emotion in her voice. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get some rest." She added and pulled up the blanket she had on up to her neck.

A bit confused, Lindsey opened his mouth to say something else, but Stevie showed no signs that she wanted him anywhere near her. What does she mean, she's no longer interested, he thought as he went back to his seat.