Dear Universe.

Universe.

Dear Universe,

Do you ever feel that you're being a burden to the people around you? Becoming so tired of it that you just want to disappear? Well, I'm feeling like that lately. I know I've said before that there's no really too much on my plate but sometimes I can't help but to feel that way. Because maybe there's just so much to handle. The stress that we are getting is undeniably high for us to even think properly. And I feel crap for it.

How can even people around me find a reason to stay with me though I gave them all the reasons to leave. I was never an ideal friend, I always shut people out, I push them away and I was too moody to be a good friend to them. But still, some of them or I mean many of them found a reason to be my friend. Still.

Some of them told me I'm just being paranoid. Well maybe I am cause I don't even know if the people around are being real. I feel like I'm being used, a charity case to be exact. I feel like people were only there or around because they need something from me. I know it's too absurd to think that that but it's how I really feel.

Weird but I feel not all the person I talk to were real to me. Why do I even feeling this way? Am I really a charity case to some people? Or a trophy friend? Cause it feels like it. And I feel crap because of it. Have you ever feel like being used or something, universe?

I don't want to question myself what's wrong cause I might end up doubting myself even more. I just want something real and people who will treat me right even though I'm a flawed person.

Sincerely,
RM