Dear Universe.

MA

Dear MA,

I know I've been causing you a lot of pain and I still feel sorry for it. Sorry for being a jerk to you most of the time. Sorry for being such a burden to you. You don't know how thankful I am that you're always there for me. I just feel the need of typing this for me to be at ease.

We had a rough start. I know that I hurt you by the things that I've said but please understand that I needed to do that. We became acquainted and then friends again. I'm so much aware of your feelings, do you know what crazy things I have in mind? I thought of going away in permanent but I know it would hurt not only you but as well as the people around me too. And it was not an option to take. I also thought of giving us a chance. But It'll be so unfair to you if I did that and I'll more of a jerk than ever if I actually did.

I wanted to thank you for everything. I'm always thankful for all the things that you've been doing for me. You're one of those people who accepted me despite of all the flaws I have. Thank you because even though I'm feeling worthless about myself, you're there believing that I'm not. Thank you for choosing to stay even you have a lot of reasons to leave. I cannot thank you enough because of that. Thank you cause despite of hurting you, you've always been there to help me in any way you can. I'm truly blessed to have you in my life. 

Sorry if I'm still being a jerk to you. You know how much I've wanted to try. But I just can't, not because of the past feelings that I have. (Even though I think there still is I'm just not sure) but cause of the situation. Let's face it, something like this won't work for the both of us. You're too far and I am too. Both of us were a jealous type of person and there's no day that we won't fight. If we'll push through something deeper. We'll end up ruining everything. So sorry if I can't risk it. 

Thank you and sorry for everything. This is not goodbye. I just wanted you to know that you'll always be someone special and close to me. 

Much love,

CNJ