The Better Half Of Me

Chapter 23-Caleb

    As I walk back home, I think about how differently tonight went than I expected. Riley actually likes me, and feels the same as I do. I never dreamed that would be possible, but I guess things are working out for me. I hope father hasn't been looking for me, I know Abel probably has, especially after what happened earlier.

I walk inside and head to my room to rest, but out of the corner of my eye I see a candle light. It's Abel.

"Caleb, can we talk?"

I nod and follow him into his room.

We speak in almost whispers, to not wake everyone else.

"Caleb, I am sorry about earlier, I really am, I just want what is best for you."

"Its fine Abel, I am sorry too for how I shouted, but I am not sorry for what I said because it was all true."

Abel pauses for a few seconds before he responds.

"You were with her all evening, weren't you?"

I nod

 "Yes, and Abel, you will never believe what happened."

"What?"

"We admitted our feelings to each other, and decided to see where things go with each other."

Abel looks surprised.

"What does that even mean?"

"We are together now, Abel, a couple. We have to keep it a secret though, because if anyone knew, it would surely end badly."

Abel rubs his temples, as if he is deeply stressed by what I just told him.

"This is worse than I thought, she actually reciprocates your feelings, I thought it was just some fleeting error of judgment, or rebellion against father for not letting us have rumspringa."

"Just why is that so terrible Abel?"

"Caleb, she is an outsider, you know our parents will never understand or accept her, and who is to say she would accept our way of life either? She would never give up all her modern conveniences she is used to, she has had them her whole life."

"Abel, I know this will be hard, but I really care about her, and I would be grateful if you would support us."

"How can I support something that is doomed to fail and rip our family apart when it is revealed?"

"Just try, please, and do not tell anyone."

He sighs.

"I will try, for you, because you are my brother and I love you."

"Thank you Abel, did father say anything regarding earlier?"

"No, but he did ask where you were and I lied for you and said you were out tending to the chickens, so I have been praying for the past two hours for forgiveness, you know I do not lie, and now you expect me to lie more about this relationship of yours."

He says the word relationship as if it is some kind of disgusting awful thing.

 "Abel, I think Riley was sent for me by God, that is the only explanation."

"No Caleb, if anyone was it was Elizabeth, a good pure woman with morals, and you rebuffed her."

"Then you can have Elizabeth, I already have my eyes set on another."

Abel lets out a sigh.

"That isn't the point Caleb, and I am tired of explaining it to you."

This conversation is going nowhere.

I tell Abel goodnight and I retire to my room. As I lie awake in my bed, I can't stop thinking about earlier, how nice it felt with Riley against my chest.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or any day after that, but I decide then and there that I would burn in Hell for all eternity, just to feel the way I felt tonight again.