TW: ed, hateful comments (lmk if there are any more
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3rd person POV:
It's been over two years since matt got diagnosed with anxiety, and it hasn't been going that smoothly. Recently matt couldn't go the therapy because his therapist was sick and it was really taking a toll on him. Especially with what was going on at school.
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Matt's POV:
Lunch. possibly the worst subject in school. 30 minutes full of yelling and food. I couldn't get out of it this time. They put this gate in the bathroom entrance so i couldn't hide in there, i don't have any trouble with my grades, so that's out of the way, and my art teacher won't let me in his room without an explanation anymore. It sucks. I sigh and walk over to my brothers without any food in my hands. "where's your food matt?" chris immediately asked when i sat down. "I'm not that hungry right now," Lie. "mr A gave me a cookie in class." Lie. it feels like all i do now is lie, lie, lie. I'm starving, and Mr A wasn't even here today. but they couldn't know that. they couldn't know kids were giving me a hard time cause i'm fat, they couldn't know i was trying to lose weight. This past month this group of popular kids have been giving me a hard time, they always snicker at me in the hallway, tell me they don't want me on their team in gym cause i'm fat and slow, they tell me to starve myself. So i am. They're right, no one wants a kid that weighs 1,000 pounds in their life. I mean after the first day they called me fat i looked at the pictures on the fridge at home, compared to my brothers i was fat and ugly. I cried myself to sleep that night, careful to not let anyone hear me, i mean we're triplets. I should look like them. skinny and handsome. Why don't i? why can't i be the skinny one? I snapped out of my thoughts when the bell rang. I stood up quickly, getting a little dizzy, but i won't let anyone know that. I practically ran out of the cafeteria to avoid Thomas and Owen, the two boys who mainly bully me. But of course i failed, just like i fail every other task in my life. "Hey there fatso," Thomas spoke. "Looks like you've been listening to us, you definitely look lighter, but you still look disgusting as shit though!" "Hey Thomas," Owen snickered out. "It looks like our friend, matty, need a little help getting to class, why don't we give him a hand?" "You're so right, Owen, don't want little matty getting lost now do we?" Thomas smirked at me. no. no. no. no. please. "I-I don't think that's necessary" i got out just below a whisper. of course they didn't listen, they dragged me into the storage room by my hoodie, practically choking me. they started kicking and punching me, they didn't stop. i begged for nick or chris to barge through that door and start punching them. but they didn't. they don't care about you, no one does. that's why this is happening to you. the voice in the back of my head said. no. they care. they're my brothers. they have to care. i heard screaming that pulled me out of my thoughts. the janitor came to get a mop and saw us. oh no. this is bad. they're gonna call my parents. they're gonna find out about the food thing. no. they can't. i almost lost enough weight. my breathing picked up. come on matt, breathe. please. come on. in. out. in. out. why isn't it working? i just want nick and chris. please. i'll never ask for anything again. i just want my brothers. "MATT" i heard someone yell, i tried to make out the voice. chris? wait, no. nick. "nick?" i whispered. "yeah, it's me matt. we're here don't worry, Thomas and Owen are getting yelled at, they're gonna be in so much trouble." nick said. "are they gonna call mom?" "they kind of have to matt. her son just got beat up?" chris said. "oh." shit. she can't know. she'll force me to go to back to therapy every week instead of once a month. "are you ok? we can get the nurse." one of them said, i don't even care anymore. "i'm fine. i just didn't want anyone to find out." i said. "find out? find out what? have they been doing this to you?!" nick said, alarmed. "no, well, not the punching part. just the mean comment part." "wha-" "MATT? CHRIS? NICK? WHERE ARE YOU" i heard my mom's voice down the hall. oh no. please no. "ma- oh thank God you're okay. sweetie what happened? i was worried sick when they said you got hurt." my mom said finally finding us. "some stupid bullies beat him up! that's what happened! and get this they've been bullying him for a while now!" chris said with a mix of anger and worry in his tone. "what? matt they've been hurting you? why didn't you say anything?" she said. "they were telling the truth." i barely let out. "what sweetie i coul-" "THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH MOM! NO ONE WANTS A FAT DISGUSTING KID IN THEIR LIFE!" i blurted out. i mentally groaned. why. why. WHY. i'm such a blabber mouth. "wait, are they why you've been skipping lunch?" nick asked confused. "you've been skipping lunch?!" my mom said trying to keep her calm. "yes, ok?" i said, there's no point in trying to hide anymore. "i've been starving myself. i'm too fat. i mean look at nick and chris, they're so perfect and i'm disgusting." "matt.." "what, no i-" nick and chris spoke in the same tone, they couldn't finish their sentences. probably because everything they would've said is a lie. i mean why would they care? i'm just the ugly triplet. "matt, sweetheart, listen to me. you are not fat, or disgusting," my
mom started. "you should never listen to anyone who says something negative about you. i promise you are not ugly. you are perfect, everyone is unique." my mom said, sadly. "you promise?" i spoke, my voice shaking. "pinky promise." "yeah matt, what mom said. you're perfect just the way you are!" nick spoke. i looked at chris. i don't think he could say anything. i mean a few months ago i switched to therapy once a month, he must've thought i got better and then this happened? i'm a horrible brother.
we finally got in the car. "i'm sorry," chris whispered next to me. "i should've known you weren't okay. i'm sorry." "no, chris, it wasn't your fault. i promise." i said trying not to cry. "are you gonna be okay matt?" nick spoke up. "i'll be fine, i have you guys. i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner. i'm so so so sorry." i said grabbing one of their hands.
i knew i wasn't going to be okay right away but, i had them. they would be there for me. it was going to take time but i knew
i would get better.
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wow, 1204 words and they all hit close to home. i love you goodbye 💗
