Broken Vows and Empty Promises

Confession

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and looked up to see Teresa.

" C'mon. Let's go sit by the fire."

I got up and followed her, and we sat by the now smoldering coals of the fire.

" So, you really care about Newt, huh?"

I didn't mind her saying his name. She was using it in the right way. For talking about him, not telling me he had the flare. I nodded at her question. I more than cared about Newt, I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt.

" You must have known him for a while, I bet, you must be really good friends."

I had to tell her.

" I-I loved him."

I muttered.

" What?"

" I l-loved Newt."

She looked surprised. I kept going. There was no stopping it now.

" That was the last thing I said to him. 'I love you'. It was also the last thing he said to me. 'I love you Min'"

Then it all came out. My vows, my promise, how it was all my fault, even about all the stupid thoughts I have that make me want to leave this world.

When I finished I had tears streaming down my face.

She had tears in her eyes, but still gave me comfort, and she put an arm around my shoulder.

" You could sleep next to him if you want. I know where Alby and Gally put him."

I smiled weakly and nodded gratefully. I trailed after her, into the woods a bit, to find Newt lying on the ground, asleep, his wound wrapped and set. Teresa started to leave, but then turned around.

"Minho, none of this is your fault. If you weren't there Newt would be dead."

With that she walked back to the others. I lay down and grabbed Newt's hand. I squeezed. He squeezed back. No dream, just Newts repeated words running through my mind

I-I love you min.

I awoke hearing Thomas and Teresa argue close to me and Newt. I regretfully left Newt, and started walking towards the voices. As I got closer I heard the words 'Newt', 'leave', and 'Idiot'.

I was blinded by rage at the word leave.

Oh, no thomas.

We are not leaving Newt.

Then I had another unwelcome thought.

But you left him once.

Why not twice?