Broken Vows and Empty Promises

Depresion

I jumped up from the bed ignoring the wave of dizziness, and ran out of the room, down the hallway, until I found the door marked Newt.

Where did they get the markers?

Doesn't matter.

I burst into the room.

Nothing.

Just a nicely made bed, clean white walls, clean white floor.

I knew what that meant.

Newt was dead.

I fell to the floor sobbing. Screaming for Newt to come back. Chuck was there trying to comfort me, but I couldn't hear him. I had finnaily drowned in the ocean of despair. And I would never surface again. I cried for hours on the ground, until I lost my voice, and ran out of tears. Finally, I stopped crying, and I felt empty. My body was void of everything except for the longing for Newt. I just lay there. The same spot where I fell down sobbing for Newt. Eventually Chuck found Gally, and they carried me back to my bed. Gally was comforting.

" It'll all be fine."

I shook my head. Nothing will ever be fine again. After that, life stopped working. I slept almost always. Chuck and Gally tried to get me to eat and drink, but I refused, and eventually they had to hook me up to an IV. I didn't know when it was night or day, but I didn't care. When I was sleeping I could escape the pain. Where were Brenda and Alby? They had probably died too. Soon Brenda came, and she sat with me. Always. She listened to me cry, she consoled me.

" Minho, do you think Newt would have wanted this?"

" How the shuck would I know,"

Here come the tears.

And the screaming.

" When he's shucking dead?"

My voice broke on dead, and I started sobbing. Brenda tried to soothe me by grasping my hand. She was the only person that came in my room anymore, and we had become closer.

" Min, please. You're only hurting yourself."

Min. Newt's name for me. I burst like a water balloon. I snatched my hand out of hers and screamed.

" Don't ever shucking call me that! That was Newt's name for me!"

Brenda looked hurt.

" Oh, god, Brenda, I'm so sorry."

" N-No, I'm sorry Minho. I shouldn't have called you that."

The next day she came back.

" You loved Newt."

A statement, not a question.

" Y-Yeah I did."

" Did he love you?"

" Yes. That was the last thing we said to each other. 'I love you.'"

She looked concerned.

" How long did you love him?"

" S-Since the lightning storm."

Brenda spoke softly.

"When did he tell you?"

" R-Right before we found you, in the snow,"

I blurted everything out, like I did with Teresa. Man, these girls have a way of making you talk.

" He t-tried to tell me sooner, but I wouldn't let him."

" Why?"

" Because I made vows. I made vows that Newt wouldn't get hurt, and that I wouldn't let my love for him interfere, and I made a promise that he wouldn't die, and I broke it. I broke all of them."

Chuck came in then, and whispered something to Brenda. She smiled and started to leave, then turned with a grin on her face

" Maybe not all of them."

I tried to ask her what she meant, but she was gone. The next day, instead of Brenda, Alby came in.

" Oh, geez, Alby, I thought you were dead!"

Alby chuckled

" Well I'm not."

He hobbled up to my bed, and told me the thing that everyone had been telling me.

" You loved Newt."

I snapped at him,

" Yeah I did! Why the shuck do people keep telling me that? I shucking know I loved Newt!"

Alby looked amused.

" Just wanted to make sure."

The next day Chuck came. Before he even opened his mouth, I grunted.

" If you're about to tell me I loved Newt, you can walk your shucking butt out of here."

Chuck turned on his heel and walked out.

" Ha ha. Very funny"

I yelled after him.

"Also, tell Gally if he asks that, I'll punch him in the face."

Gally did come the next day, but he didn't ask what I expected.

" Minho, will anything make you feel better?"

Was he serious?

" No! Nothing in this shuck world will make me feel better!"

Gally put a mock look of disappointment on his face.

" Oh, well, I guess I'll tell Newt to go back to his room."

What?

"Um . . . What are you talking about? Newt's dead."

" Then I guess it's a ghost standing outside your door."

" What? But his room was empty! No one told me he was alive!"

Chuck popped into the room.

" Actually, Minho, I did. You fell to the ground crying when you saw the empty room, and I told you Newt was alive, but we had to move him to a more secure room while the cure was taking effect, because he had started to go a little crazy."

Newt is not dead.

Newt is alive.