I just can't. || Aro-ace Tommy ~ TELL ME WHY.

Recovery is slow (stay with me 'til the end)

Hey guys. This story has been in the dark for a while so i'm back!

-

That night, Tommy hadn't succeeded.

He had been too much of a coward. Sobs and screams and red and blue lights just blurred his vision and then everything went black and it was so scary and deafening and-

Tommy didn't think things would ever go like this.

Wilbur's funerals were quiet except for the words of reassurance and people promising that Will was in a better place now.

And it's not that Tommy doesn't trust whatever god there was to send Wilbur to the most heavenly heaven there was out there, but it was just that he was so scared without Wilbur.

Wilbur had done so much for Tommy. Way more than you could ever imagine.

He had been there when he needed it, on dark nights, 4 am calls sobbing about girls he'd never date, 3 AM calls sleep deprived talking about drugs and everything was just so calm.

Tommy would do anything to go back and stop Wilbur from even ever picking up a damn instrument.

But it wouldn't be fair then, would it?

It wouldn't.

Tommy had still lost Wilbur either way, and no what if's will change this.

Tommy had still lost himself.

-

Wilbur's mother had been lovely.

With red eyes, she'd smiled the morning after the funerals. Tommy's bank account was slowly going down on money with the lack of streaming he'd been doing and paying for his appartment as well as this hotel.

He doesn't care. It's fine.

He's used to it.

That's until he saw Mr. Soot that morning.

She hadn't been in the kitchen like she usually was, but in her room. Tommy had knocked before entering, even though the door being right open.

"Mrs. Soot? May I ask what are you doing?" Tommy had said politely, voice still strained from the screams he'd let out last night as no one helped him.

Help was useless. What was it gonna do? Bring his damn brother back? Bring back the one who helped him find himself?

"I'm packing. I can't live here forever I- I want to go back to his hometown." She had admitted, and Tommy's world broke once again.

Because her leaving would give Tommy no reason to stay here. Making him go back to his appartment. Making it real.

But she was probably right. His money was dangerously lower than it was 2 months ago and he needed to see the sun for once. Even through a fucking train ticket.

Tommy just stood there as he watched her pack her things up.

What else could he do?

Nothing. There was nothing to do without Wilbur.