Bellflowers || Fyozai

8|| How Can I Deny My Feelings?

Hello ^-^! 

Warning! 

This chapter contains smut and Fyodor is being kind of vulgar and rude! If you are uncomfortable, please don't read the chapter. I won't tolerate to any hate comments! 

Also, I don't want to hear some bullshits about Fyodor being kind of rude. I'm against forced sex you know. Dazai had consent. Also they both are adult people. I'm going through enough bullshits as a regular basis so I don't need more, okay? If you be rude, I will be rude too. 

Sorry for ranting! 

Anyway, enjoy ^-^! 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Fyodor was trying to sleep when he heard the door was unlocked. He hoped it was Dazai. He had missed him too much even if he didn't confess it to himself. Sleepless nights became more painful without Dazai, but it was not Dazai. It was Odasaku. Fyodor was confused. Why would Odasaku come to see him? "Why are you here, doctor?" 

"I came here to help you." Odasaku replied. 

"What kind of help?" Fyodor asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't know if he should have trusted to someone he didn't know at all. 

"I will let you out, so you can see Dazai." Odasaku spoke with a whisper. "My friend took care of the cameras, so you won't be caught by them. Don't be too late though. Come back before anyone notices your absence." He handed a folded piece of paper to Fyodor. "This is Dazai's address." 

Fyodor took the paper and thanked Odasaku. As they were walking toward the exit, they both were silent. Fyodor pulled his hoodie over his head to hide his face. He quickly made his way outside and ran towards the address which Odasaku gave him. 

Odasaku watched until Fyodor disappeared in the distance. 'I hope I did the right thing.' 

As Fyodor came closer to the address, he could feel his heart was beating faster. Would they stand each other after not seeing each other for a week? He thought to himself, his mind was full of with doubts. He stopped in front of the address indicated in the piece of paper. He was finally there. Fyodor took a deep breath and knocked on the door. 

It took a few moments until he heard someone unlocking the door from inside. As it was opened, he was left speechless. Dazai was standing in front of him. 

"Fyodor..." He whispered, as if he was still trying to believe this was real. 

"Dazai, I..." He couldn't finish his sentence as they both embraced each other tightly. Fyodor felt like his world had finally stopped spinning. 

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Eventually, Fyodor had to let go and took a few steps back. 

Dazai grabbed his hands and looked at him in the eyes. "Let's just forget the past. Everything that happened, it's in the past. We can start over, if you want." 

There was no need for further words. Fyodor just leaned in and kissed Dazai as if this was the only way to truly express what he was feeling and as they both felt reborn again, there was no doubt in their minds that they would never be separated again. 

"I'm scared of loving someone." He eventually said after the unnerving silence. "Because everything I love gets taken away from me. I'm scared of losing you if I love you." 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Fyodor felt strange about his feelings, but something about Dazai made it easier to open up.