Bellflowers || Fyozai

4|| Your Face Won't Let Me Sleep Tonight...

Hi! 

How are you all? 

I'm doing a little better recently lol! 

Warning! 

This chapter contains tantrum. If you don't like this or if you are affected easily, please don't read the chapter. If you read despite my warnings, I don't accept any responsibility and I definitely won't tolerate any hate comments. 

A side note: I might have make a mistake while describing a tantrum. My tantrums are usually like that, but I'm still sorry if I made a mistake. Also, characters may be a little, or much, out of character. So please keep this in mind! 

The voices Fyodor hears are the result of his dissociative identity disorder. 

Anyway enjoy ^-^!

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Fyodor had tossed and turned around whole night. He even tried counting sheeps to fall asleep, even though he found it ridiculous and childish, but it didn't work. It was like there was a huge war in his mind. All of his personalities were talking at the same time. He covered his ears. "Please, please..." He begged. "I want to sleep. Please shut up." He repeated these words as the voices began louder. 

"You should have died long time ago. What is the point of keep of living? You won't have a good future." 

The voice was laughing sadistically. Fyodor frowned. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" He repeatedly said. "This is not true. You are just trying to make me give up on life!" 

"Am I lying?" 

The voice laughed again. 

"Your mother hates you. Your cousin who adored you once is now scared of you. I bet your beloved father is ashamed of you after what you did and I'm sure your dear sister Nastasya hates you as well. Do you think they will accept you even if you get out of here? You were nothing but a burden to them." 

Fyodor clutched the sheets so hard that his knuckles turned white. "No! This is not true!" 

"Nothing good will happen to you." 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

That night, Fyodor was not the only one who couldn't sleep. Dazai couldn't sleep either. Whenever he closed his eyes, he would see Chuuya in his dreams. In his dreams Chuuya was walking to the sea not without looking at Dazai even once. No matter how much Dazai called out his name, Chuuya didn't stop and no matter how fast Dazai ran he couldn't catch Chuuya. 

When he woke up, he noticed he was crying. He looked aside and saw Mieko was sleeping by his side. Probably she had a bad dream or she was scared for some reason and had climbed to the bed. He stroked Mieko's long, curly, ginger hair. She was beautiful already. She looked so much like Chuuya that it both made Dazai happy and made his heart ache.

She had kicked off the blanket on her again. She always did that several times in a night and Dazai would cover her with blanket again. He covered Mieko with blanket again and checked the time. It was 04.30 in the morning and maybe he could try to sleep a little more, even if it is only for one hour...

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Dazai's bloodshot eyes had caught Odasaku's attention while they were taking Mieko to the daycare. He asked a few times, but Dazai immediately changed the subject. He didn't want to talk about with anyone, even with Odasaku.