Bellflowers || Fyozai

22|| Whispered Memories

Hello ^-^! 

How are you all? 

I hope you all are doing well. 

I was going to another city today but my dad annoyed me as always so I'm here lol. 

Warning! 

This chapter contains mentions of bullying and attempts of suicide. 

If you are uncomfortable, please don't read the chapter. I won't tolerate any hate comments. 

Anyway, enjoy if you will read ^-^! 

Note 1: Tama is a female alter so don't be surprised when I use she/her pronouns. Also Tama has dependent personality disorder. 

Note 2: I will explain what dependent personality disorder in the end, so you can understand the character better. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

Tama shuffled through the halls looking to her feet as she went. People around her stirred and muttered, but she ignored them. She was well-used to whispers being whispered about her as if she didn't deserve to be there.

Tama had a name that could mean "soul", but also "restless spirit" and "vengeful ghost". This only reinforced the belief of those around her that something wasn't quite right with her.

People didn't approach her as if she was cursed or dangerous which made Tama isolated. Because of this, she developed something called dependent personality disorder, a fear of anything that made her feel that she had to make important decisions without help from her family.

Days passed and Tama's personality progressively worsened. She became so afraid of asserting her own independence that she was unable to make decisions about even the smallest items without relying on her family.

Her family, especially Nastasya, completely stepped into take care of her problems, never leaving her with any real chance of gaining her independence.

As time went by, Tama began to feel more and more helpless. She was unable to control her life or take any meaningful action. Every day she felt more and more powerless, often frustrated and overwhelmed.

Tama's lack of independence and self-reliance led to a growing sense of depression that slowly infiltrated every area of her life. Despite Nastasya's best efforts to care for her and nurture her, Tama felt alone and neglected. Nothing seemed to help her regain control over her life.

Even though she had sought help from professionals, her attempts to rise above her feelings were in vain. Eventually her emotional struggles became too much and she turned to self-harming behavior as a way of coping with her emotions.

Tama had done countless attempts at getting help for her emotional issues. She had gone to multiple appointments with professionals and tried different medical treatments and therapies to try and manage her mood, but it was never enough. No matter what she did, Tama simply couldn't shake the feeling of being overwhelmed and helpless.

Tama felt like she was invisible in the classroom. No one noticed when she spoke or asked questions as if her voice was nonexistent in the room. That feeling followed her as she walked home, feeling alone and unseen. It was only when she was in the safety of her bedroom, alone apart from the chorus of her own thoughts, that she felt accepted. Was it really how it was like not having her own independence?