"Let's make a deal. I'll make you happy and teach you to live life to the fullest within three months and if I fail, I'll not stop you from doing what you want."
I take a suspicious glance at her with squinted eyes, trying to figure out if she's ser...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
☆○o｡..:*☆*:..｡o○☆
When The Clouds Cry.[Beomgyu FF]
song recommendation: "Butterfly" by BTS.
━─━─◄••❀••►─━─━ [three]truth that was better untold. ━─━─◄••❀••►─━─━
Beomgyu POV I sat in front of a panel of physicians from the medical board formed for my treatment, supposedly. I'm in this stupid wheelchair with an IV containing some saline solution tethered to the back of my hand, making it hurt. Ever since I've gotten inside this place, I've been getting these bags of nutrition going through my veins. It's been a day only and I'm already tired. No one's telling me what's wrong with me. They're all lying to my face and telling me that I'm fine. If I am truly fine, then why on earth do I need a medical board for my treatment?! Huh?! I have already started to hate it here. I hate all of these pale white walls, this disgusting smell of antiseptics, and these boring hospital gowns. I just want to go home!
"So, Beomgyu, you said you've been experiencing these symptoms for a few months now but haven't paid attention because you thought they weren't anything serious."
Taehyun's father; the chief physician of the medical board questions, looking at me in the eyes. I nod to answer his question.
"Do you have any idea about your health conditions? Like, have you ever been to a doctor who diagnosed you with a disease?"
I try to recall the last time I had been to a doctor. It was... damn, I can't even remember correctly. I'm not extremely healthy but I'm pretty athletic and so, we've assumed that the colds I catch now and then are probably hayfever. They're not a big thing, so none of us bother about it anymore. So, I don't go to the doctor's office. The last time I visited a surgeon was to get treated for a knee injury I got while playing against another school. It was almost 3 years... 4 years? Yeah, it was close to 3 years ago. I've never been told about any disease I have or might have by the doctor. I've always been a quite healthy kid, I suppose.
"No, Sir. The last time I visited a doctor was back in middle school, and I only visited to get a minor injury treated. Nothing else."
The doctor mouths a silent "oh" hearing my response and they all start to speak in medical lingo in front of me as if they've forgotten that I exist. I barely understand what they're saying. So, I just shift my gaze at my hands and start playing with my fingers. I start feeling kinda uncomfortable and start to get fidgety, my mind beginning to wander off to thoughts about what could've happened to me. I'm trying my best to come to terms with the fact that I might a serious disease that is curable, however. But I just can't! I just can't convince myself to surrender to the fate I can never change! I desperately want to believe I'm fine! My hopes are way too high and I'm scared that once I hear about my condition, I'll fall from such a height that I'll never be able to recover.
"Beomgyu."
Taehyun's father calls me out affectionately in an uncanny type of calm tone. I've known Taehyun since I was five and by now, even our parents have become close. Mr. Kang is always laughing, teasing his children, and asking us about school, and other stuff. Never in my life, I've heard him be so calm... It's starting to feel like the calm before the storm. This is scaring me even more. Am I... Am I going to die? What nonsense! Ugh, Beomgyu! Why are you taking yourself there again?! You'll be fine.. completely fine! I try to gulp since my throat was feeling drier than a desert only to realize that my whole body has become so stiff and unstable from all the stress and panic I'm feeling in my veins that I can't even move a finger properly. I try to shove away my negative thoughts but it doesn't work. My fear gets more intense only. My heart begins to beat abnormally again, making me feel lightheaded. Thankfully, I was sitting already. If not, I'd have fainted again. I try to look up and fix my gaze on my friend's father. As soon as I look at him, I see a face full of worry and fear. Subtle hints of sympathy were also painted there. Please, for god's sake, don't tell me something I can't take I'm already feeling enough exhausted.
"Are you familiar with the term cardiomyopathy?"
He asks. Cardiomyopathy... sounds so familiar! I'm sure I've heard it somewhere but where? I start digging through the massive pile of memories to recall exactly where, how, and why I have heard the word. I soon drift away from the real world and get immersed in my thoughts. I think I heard about this back in middle school but on what occasion? Why was a medical term the topic of discussion between a bunch of young teens?
"Right! My senior's sister had it!"
I think to myself and smile, happy to have finally remembered everything; after trying my best for almost two and a half minutes. It's a heart disease that is known as fatal but... why is Dr. Kang asking me about this? The happiness I had collected from being able to remember why I was familiar with the medical term suddenly fades away along with my smile, in a moment as I begin to suspect that I'm now one of the few people living with this disease. I start fearing that my time has come and that there was no way to fix things. Hoping that he's asking this question just like that, I try to look at him, fear visible in my eyes. He lets out a deep sigh before he begins.
"Beomgyu, dear, you have cardiomyopathy..."
He says in a calm tone, looking at me right in the eyes. I don't think he gets that this piece of information is tearing me apart. I start feeling like my whole world is crumbling into dust in front of my eyes and I'm in such a stupid situation that all I can do is watch everything fall apart. I'm being tied back by an invisible demon who will never give me the chance to put things back in order. All of my dreams, ambitions, goals, and unfulfilled wishes... Will they all come to an end just like that; as if they were nothing but some stupid mirages, to begin with? Why?
"What?"
I somehow manage to ask the question, hoping I didn't hear right while I desperately try to battle my tears which don't listen to me and roll down as drops; one at a time. Dr. Kang doesn't answer my question. He just looks away and sighs. Suddenly, I feel a rush of rage running through my veins. I refuse to believe that this is reality. All of these doctors are lying to my face and nothing else! They have to be lying to me! I'm not accepting that I'm going to die just like that! This just can't be happening! This shouldn't be happening!
"No! You're lying! You're all lying to me!"
Unable to keep my rage within, I shout in the loudest tone possible, standing up and slamming on the table with all of my strength as tears continue to roll down my cheeks. My left hand which was tethered to the IV starts hurting badly because of how hard I had hit the table. I pay no attention to that and keep staring at Dr. Kang with an intense and kind of a threatening gaze. Most people present in the room get startled or scared; including Dr. Kang who just looks at me with a pair of wide eyes, having a hard time believing that I'm reacting like this. My heart starts pounding and beating abnormally once more and I start feeling dizzier than ever.
"I... I..."
I try to shout but dizziness takes over me as my heartbeat keeps getting more and more unstable, making it hard for me to even breathe. I start breathing heavily again and unable to keep my weak legs supporting me, I fall back into my wheelchair. I try to take huge and deep breaths o feel at ease but just like yesterday, it doesn't work too well.
"Beomgyu!"
Dr. Kang comes running to me with a few others amongst who, there was a nurse and two young resident physicians.
"Bring him some water!"
He shouts and one of the two resident doctors nods before sprinting out while I continue to breathe heavily, sitting in my wheelchair; starting to feel like if I'm destined to die, then I should die now. I can't take in this stress and pain... Death sounds kinder than this stupid heart disease that's going to make me suffer and eat me up for the rest of the days I have left on my calendar.
