(A/N: This chapter name is a reference to a movie called "The Thing And I".)
We cut to a sleeping and snoring robot on the couch as an action movie called "Intestines of War plays on the television in front of it. In the movie, a soldier clutches his stomach as he fell to his knees.
"AH! MY INTESTINES!" Screamed the soldier.
The robot twitches after the line was delivered and after the explosions had erupted with much sound ringing out loud, but he still hadn't woken up. The phone sitting atop a table next to the couch had rang, but the robot still solemnly laid upon his own slumber. As the phone continued to ring, the robot continued to snore, but his eyes began to strain and his mouth was about to curl into a frown. While the credits of the movie began to play on the TV, the robot finally had enough of the annoying phone and picked it up.
"はい？(Yes?)" Asked the robot with the phone in his metal pincer and quite the raspy voice in his voicebox.
"Hey man, it's been 2 weeks since you rented Intestines of War! It's 20 days overdue! Hello? HELLO!?" Screamed a man from the other end of the phone.
Annoyed and mostly concerned by the man's screaming, the robot put the phone down but then he found himself looking at a scene of credits in English, which was a language he wasn't that great at speaking. A green, bug-like boy walks into the room from the kitchen and frowns at the robot from the entryway.
"This is the 100th time, GIR, You have to stop watching that thing or- WHAT IS THAT!?" Warned the green creature before seeing an FBI warning now appearing on the screen.
Cut to the TV screen where we now see an FBI warning in place of the credits.
"A WARNING! Oh no! Oh no! FBI!?!? Who is this FBI!? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO WARN US ABOUT!?!?" Shouted the green creature.
The creature grunts and howls like a monkey as he runs into the kitchen while the theme music for Intestines of War starts playing. The phone ringed one more and this time, the ringing made GIR growl and pick it up in hesitation.
"それはまたその男ですか？(Is it that guy again?)" GIR asked in annoyance.
"RETURN THAT MOVIE!!!" Screamed the man behind the phone.
"何の映画！？(WHAT MOVIE!?)" GIR screamed back.
GIR suddenly slammed the phone down onto the table and growled once again, already getting tired of hearing the man scream about some 20-day War movie thing. What even is the movie supposed to be about, anyway? Even if he wanted to know, the man on the phone kept speaking English while the robot mainly spoke Japanese. As GIR continued to sit upon the couch, lifting his legs up and down as he did, he began to think.
Who the heck was that weird, green bug thing and why did he call him "GIR"? What did it even stand for, anyway? Suddenly, a pile of shock landed squarely on top of the robot as he looked upon his legs. These legs didn't belong to him, how did he gain these metal sticks that unexplainably floated when he should have gotten back his original feet?
"GIR! That movie is some kind of government spying tool! QUICKLY! EAT IT!" The green creature begged GIR.
"あなたは私に何をして欲しいの？(What do you want ME to do?)" GIR questioned the green creature.
"GIR, you are to EATTHEMOVIERIGHTTHISMINUTE!" Demanded the green creature.
"私の名前は YUMYUM! (MY NAME IS YUMYUM!)" Shouted GIR.
"Oh forget it, I'm running out of TIIIIME!" Complained the green creature.
"WAIT A MINUTE! What does GIR even stand for, GARBAGE... IDIOT ROBOT!?"
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Mystery / ThrillerWelcome back to the story. As you can see, The Darkness has been defeated, everyone in the multiverse is safe, and nothing has went chaotic for any longer. But what's the real deal behind these blatantly cheerful statements? Has things truly never g...
