Chapter Two (An Indescribable Feeling)

Tired Teatime

As Anna sat in her chair set up in front of the camera, she felt exhausted. The first month of the year had been a busy one. After the end-of-year show, she had worked hard to make Taehyung's birthday extra special. It was the first birthday in over a decade that one of the boys was missing and she wanted to somehow make up for it.

January had been spent finishing her new album. It was due to come out in a couple of weeks and there was still a lot to do. She had spent the day in the dance studio rehearsing the choreography for one of the songs. They were shooting the music video over the next few days, so she had been trying to perfect it.

It was a mini-album called 'Who is Me' and was about self-discovery: what makes a person who they are and how do we define ourselves. The idea came to her when she was thinking about what some fans or society think we should be or act a certain way. While her soulmates explored self-love, Anna was exploring self-discovery.

Anna had felt a little rushed, but the company had wanted to fit her in between TXT's comeback in January and Jimin and Yoongi's solo releases in March and April. They had pushed it back to the end of the month, but it had been a lot of work to get ready in time. On the plus side, it had kept her busy instead of focusing on Jin's absence and Hoseok's upcoming departure.

A staff member put down a hot chocolate in front of her next to snacks that had been organised as her 'afternoon tea'.

"Oh dear, I might actually fall asleep drinking that."

They smiled sympathetically at her.

"You could always reschedule. Your fans would understand."

"No, I don't have any other time to do it."

"Well, everything's ready when you are."

"Thank you."

She took a sip of the hot chocolate hoping the sugar would revitalise her a bit.

Sitting up in the chair she took a deep breath and tried to get into the right mindset. With a smile, she leaned forward and started the live. She waited a minute for fans to tune in before greeting them.

"Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Afternoon tea with Anna! Have you all had a good first month of the year?"

Comments came flooding in and she took some time to scroll through them, reading some out and replying to others.

"The announcement came out yesterday, didn't it? Yes, I have a new album coming out. You can thank the ARMYs I spoke to at the Busan concert. I didn't have anything planned but they asked. So ask and you may receive."

"Spoilers? No, I'm not giving you any spoilers. I don't want to spoil it for you."

She laughed at the comments.

"No, don't ask me questions! I might let something slip! Let's move on."

"So, yes, it has been a busy month for me... What have I been doing?"

Anna's mind was mush. Luckily, she came prepared.

"Okay, let me get my diary out. It's the only way I can remember what has happened since we last saw each other."

Rummaging through her bag, she got out her little diary and turned back to the beginning of the year.

"Ooh! Last year ended with a release from ATEEZ. Wasn't Halazia awesome? I think it might be my new favourite ATEEZ song."

"I can see that a lot of you loved it too. Are there lots of ATINY here today? Yes. Oh, you became a fan because I recommended them? That's great! Am I friends with ATEEZ? I've met them a few times now. They're really nice guys and amazing performers.

"They're going to Europe soon, right? Who's going to see them? A few of you. Yes. Yes. Oh, tickets are too expensive? That's a problem. Over £100 for right up the top?! Wow! I wish we - the artists - could control the prices.

"Did any of you come to the small concerts I had at the end of last year? Yes. Cool. Thank you! Were the ticket prices okay? Reasonable? Awesome. Probably because they were small venues, right? That was my intention.

"Okay, what next... MONSTA X? Their new album, REASON, was awesome too. I hadn't really listened to any of their music before, I don't think... But I had heard of them and I know they're very popular. I had to do some research before I interviewed them.

"Are you watching season 2 of Interviews with Anna? Again, ARMYs at the Busan concert told me they wanted more episodes and I got MONSTA X just like they asked. You're welcome.

"Who was in the 2nd episode? Oh, TXT! Sugar Rush Ride. Did you like their new album? They really reinvent themselves every time. So good! Farewell Neverland is my favourite. Are Yeonjun and I friends? Yes! We're best friends. Is that why we do lots of TikTok videos together? That is because he is the master and I, his apprentice... You have him to thank that I do any TikTok videos.

"Okay, what next?"

Anna flipped through her diary.

"Oh dear, I haven't watched many shows this month. Only Singles Inferno. Did anyone else watch it? No, yes. Did anyone watch it because they heard one of the guys looks like Jungkook? No? Just me then.

"Who looks like Jungkook? He doesn't really, but he's got long curly hair and tattoos so there are some similarities. Oh, and he's strong. Kinda violent, or just competitive I guess. That was an interesting episode. For those of you that haven't watched it, the guys have a wrestling match to win a date with a girl of their choice. For me, I didn't like it and I learnt that about myself, which was interesting.

"Anyway! I don't usually watch dating shows but I enjoyed this one so much that I watched the first season while waiting for new episodes of season two to come out. What dramas have you been watching? Send me some recommendations."

Anna read the comments for a bit.

"What do I write in my diary? Um, things I need to do, my schedule, and then I like to put when I first listened to new music or started watching something. So I know when I first discovered it. Can you see it?"

Anna opens a page and holds it far enough away from the camera that the viewers shouldn't be able to read anything. Just in case there's something they shouldn't know on that page.

"This is a new one for this year. I got a small one because I saw videos of those Japanese diaries. I can't remember what they're called, but I thought the size was cute and portable. Usually, I get an empty notebook and draw my spreads, but this is a pre-done diary and it's actually really fun to decorate. I got a bit lax with my old ones, but this one always looks pretty."

She leans forward and whispers.

"Really it's an excuse to buy stickers. I've never been a sticker person - actually, that's not true! I remember when I was a little girl on holiday I spent my money on stickers rather than going ice skating. Huh, funny when you remember stuff like that, isn't it?

"Sorry, I've been rambling on, haven't I? Let me read some comments."

For a few minutes, Anna read the comments. There were only a few questions. Most of them were messages of love which was just what she needed to see. It gave her the motivation to push through her tiredness and get through the next week of work.

"You guys are so sweet. Thank you so much."

She sniffed and blinked rapidly to hold back her tears. She was overly tired and therefore overly emotional.

"Shall we end it here today?"

Anna smiled at the camera.

"I hope you enjoyed afternoon tea with Anna. Remember to never be ashamed of who or what you love. Bye!"

She held up her half-heart before ending the V Live.

A few days later she started receiving gifts from fans with a very particular theme and her sticker collection grew immensely.