Closing Doors (Wilmon AU)

Not Broken, Just Bent

Sunday, February 5th:

"'What are your sexual fantasies about?'" Wille read out, and could feel his face already heating up. Images of Simon in the locker room shower instantly popped into his mind. "We don't have to tell each other the answers of this test, do we?"

"God, no. Just enter your answer on your phone," Felice scoffed, as she clicked on her answer on her screen. "But I did go through a phase a few years ago where I was obsessed with all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, because Keira Knightly was kind of doing it for me," Felice smirked. "Hmmm...how about going to bed with someone of the same sex?"

It brought up memories of being with Simon in his bed last weekend. What could have happened if Ayub and Rosh hadn't come right then? Just a half hour later? He clicked on his answer. "Next question is 'Who have you already had sex with?' Hmmm, what would you call 'sex'?"

"Whatever you want to define it as. You could think of it as even making out with someone," Felice replied.

They did a few more questions, joking around the whole time.

"Sheesh, they even ask if you watch same sex porn," Wille said, clicking the last answer.

"It's all indicators of what you are into," Felice said. "I like watching gay porn sometimes. It's hot."

"TMI, Felice. Next you'll be sending me NSFW links to your favourite videos," Wille groaned. "OK, ready for the result?" He clicked the last button, and held his breath.

"The scale is out of six, right?" Felice peered closer at her screen. "1 is very straight and 6 is-"

"Bent, as the Brits charmingly put it," Wille grinned. "Show me yours first."

"Boring! I'm a 1. 'Hetero, with only incidental homosexual tendencies'," Felice sighed. "Even after all that mooning over Keira in those movies!"

Wille stared at the screen. "Huh."

Felice shot him a concerned look. "Not what you expected?"

"I'm a 4... so more on the gay side than straight. But pretty close to being bisexual," Wille said.

She nodded. "Well, it's a fairly basic quiz, and things will change over time for you. Maybe discuss it with Boris tomorrow. He can maybe help you define it to get to something that feels right."

Wille put his phone and the pamphlet away. "Does it really matter when I have to act straight? I'm sure I'm not the only Royal who questioned their sexuality, but I don't think anyone has ever come out. They have all lived in the closet, marrying opposite sex partners and having kids."

"I get it," Felice said softly. "I lived my life trying to please my parents, live up to their expectations. But I've been much happier since I've decided which 'traditions' I will follow. Like my mom practically forcing me to wear her St. Lucia dress, just because the last few generations had worn it. I ended wearing a dress that suited me better, and asked Sara to be Lucia."

"And stopping with the riding lessons," Wille nodded, thinking it over. "They were irked at first, but then came around."

"It's like this whole Saint Valentine's stuff this week. They will be bringing in 17th century style clothing we can wear to the ball-"

"Really? Wigs and everything?" Wille laughed, imagining everyone dressed up in powdered wigs and frock coats, dancing with modern music and flashing party lights.

"Yeah," Felice sighed. "But a lot of history for black people, and women, is about horrible repression."

"And for LGBTQ people too," Wille added.