only human // skz

2 ; pack your stuff ;

;

MAY 14 

   Jeongin had no plans to leave the dorms during the summer. He finally had somewhere to stay where the walls weren't plastered with disgustingly yellow wallpaper that was cracking and peeling. There were no rats, no broken windows, no rusty, drippy faucets that only spewed freezing cold water. With his scholarship, he'd been given a free ticket to an exponentially better living situation for the next few years. Besides, though he was sure the spot was still open in that haunted-looking apartment building, so he could get his apartment back if he wanted, he'd broken his lease when he moved into the dorms in the fall.

...He hadn't thought of it until now because he hadn't wanted to. And no one had actually asked where he was going during the summer. Perhaps everyone had just gotten used to him being one of them, and they forgot he'd lived about three hours away from the rest of them.

   Of course, he knew from the start that all of his new friends would end up moving away again for the summer. It was okay back then, because he was just hanging around with them and having a little fun... but now it was different. They were his family now. 

   And his family was leaving him again. Alone. Unprepared. He'd really gotten way too reliant on their presence— he should've known it was stupid to let himself get so attached to the feeling that they gave him, when it would only last a couple of months and it'd be gone again.

   As he walked down the hallway, he glanced around and found each room seeming closer and closer to empty, stripped bare. He wondered how the hallway might echo, hollow, with his footsteps— something he'd never really been able to hear in them before— over the next few months.

  Too easily, Jeongin let down his guard after years of steadfastly keeping it up, looking after himself. Now it was coming back to bite him.

   Even if his roommate wouldn't have minded (though he wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't— neither Jeongin nor he seemed to be the type to let someone know if they were bothering them), Jeongin felt awkward watching Soobin pack while he sat and did nothing (the most he did was throw out a bag of lollipops that had sat idly in the corner of his room for the last half-year, since he stopped eating them), so he decided to show up at Seungmin's room and watch him pack instead. And Jeongin didn't worry about Seungmin minding, because there was something about Seungmin that was different from anyone else Jeongin had ever known: the fact that they were the same. Some strange sense of unity, alikeness of heart, mind, and desires— harmony, perhaps— at times, gave Jeongin the courage to impose himself in such ways on his hyung. Because they were the same, Jeongin knew that if he'd enjoy Seungmin's company at this point in time, Seungmin would probably enjoy his company as well.

   "Hey, lil' bro." Seungmin ruffled Jeongin's hair as he pulled the door of his dorm room open to invite him in. It made Jeongin really, really happy whenever Seungmin called him that. He just smiled a little as he smoothed down his messed-up hair.

    Unable to hold back the lingering smile (even if it was dampened slightly by the disheartening knowledge that this— his time with his family, his home— Seungmin and everyone else— would soon be over) Jeongin started,"Hey. ...Is it okay if I hang out in here?"

    "Sure. Yeonjun might come back soon though, so hang out at your own risk." Seungmin went back to his clothes-folding, though not without first making a face at the mention of his roommate, curling his upper lip. The drawers on Seungmin's side of the room were pulled out and most of them were emptied of their contents like Soobin's had been when he left his room. Somehow the sight of those gaping, empty drawers squeezed his heart with an iron grip.

   It was really happening. Everyone was leaving. Leaving Jeongin stranded. 

    "You done packing already?" Seungmin asked, casually, hardly glancing up from the pair of shorts he was folding in his lap. Unbothered, unconcerned. What Jeongin wished he could be right now.

   Jeongin shook his head slowly, though Seungmin didn't notice. "I'm... not packing, hyung." It slipped out as a gentle sigh.

   Seungmin stopped mid-fold, head shooting up towards Jeongin, suddenly extremely concerned, eyes wide and genuine, so devoid of the usual sass and sarcasm that tinted his usual demeanor. "What? Innie... you're not really thinking of staying here, are you?"

   "Where else would I go, hyung?"

   What else was there to do? Jeongin didn't even own a car. 

   ...He hadn't considered it before now, because he never considered doing things that would involve other people's help... but maybe, if Seungmin really wanted to stay with him during the summer as much as Jeongin wanted to stay with him... which he probably did, and which Jeongin could almost believe, since they were the same... maybe he could hitch a ride with him like he did for Christmas break and find somewhere close-ish to their neighborhoods... "I mean... I guess I could try to get an apartment closer to you guys."

   "Move in with me," Seungmin insisted, immediately, as if it had been the only obvious solution. Like he was already planning on it. Assurance filling his eyes as they narrowed again, relaxing. "You know there's a guest room. Mom and Dad never use it."

   "What— really?" Maybe it was stupid to be so surprised. Seungmin had so readily offered up his home months ago, when they weren't even as close. And his parents had been so kind and receptive. ...But in Jeongin's mind, relying on others was never an option. And, to be fair, summer vacation was a lot longer than Christmas break. Coughing up a quick response, Jeongin offered, "I-I mean, I can pay rent. So if they're okay with—"

   "They won't want you paying." Seungmin shoved a folded pair of jeans into his suitcase. "They kinda think of you as another son, too. And trust me, they wanted another kid." 

   "...Yeah, I guess they did."

   Promptly, Seungmin nodded. He was so sure about everything. All of Jeongin's heavy, heart-squeezing worries— months' worth— just... gone. With a few words from Seungmin.

     "So. Pack your stuff."

;