SEQUEL TO HOLD ME
"it's only human."
those are words that stick in the minds of eight boys who have found themselves closer than ever because of a year spent at the same college.
minsung, seungin, changhyunlix... and chan :')
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It'll get better with time. Once he gets used to it.
Yeah. Seungmin remembered a time when he thought that. It wasn't true.
Frustratingly, Jeongin's anxiety, and the panic attacks that came with it whenever he slipped, seemed to be getting worse each time. Somehow, Seungmin imagined that at this point in time, maybe a month after Jeongin had started slipping regularly, he'd just instantly be at peace when he regressed; all smiley and happy.
Instead, what they ended up with was: "It's okay, Innie, shh." A response to the sound of hitching breath. "I'm right here," Seungmin shushed. He was expecting this by now.
Jeongin was shaking, his breaths quick and shallower than the two-inch rain puddle he'd splashed through earlier on his way running to Seungmin— pitiful whimpers spilling out of his open mouth, sprinkled in amongst the panicked inhales and exhales. He reached out and snatched for Seungmin's hand, squeezing it hard.
Seungmin grimaced at the death grip, wondering if his fingers would break before he got Jeongin to take a proper, deep breath.
By the way he was beginning to sway, it was clear: Jeongin was getting woozy from lack of oxygen. Seungmin made an effort to keep his movements as non-panicky as possible while still being quick as he scooped him up, careful not to put any pressure on his chest or diaphragm, and carried him the rest of the way to his bed. They hadn't quite made it to Jeongin's room before it started. Seungmin didn't even have time to pull out his phone and start the stopwatch.
Seungmin laid him down carefully, then sat down next to him, so he could lean over and let Jeongin see him, even if his eyes were too blurred over with tears to make anything out. He gently patted Jeongin's chest, taking one of his hands, intertwining their fingers. "Breathe, Innie."
Seungmin knew by now that no amount of reassuring that he was here and wouldn't leave would stop the panicked sobbing and hyperventilating. The best thing he could do for now was breathe, as audibly and visibly as possible, to demonstrate for Jeongin.
This time it was pretty bad, though. Once he'd gotten the feeling that things were getting worse, he started checking the time during Jeongin's panic attacks, and sure enough, each time it was taking him longer and longer to calm down. Each time it was harder to unwind the knot in Jeongin's stomach and to remove the crushing weight from his chest to let the air in.
It took nearly forty-five minutes this time, just to get him back on track with breathing. Once Seungmin had gotten through to him and he was ready to focus on trying to take deep breaths, he kept slipping up while following along with the breathing exercises Seungmin was leading him through, and then by that time, he would dissolve into more hyperventilating. Forty-five minutes of smell the roses; blow out the candles.
