Rules ⇝ Toto Wolff

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 16

♫ Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to ♫

Grace Bauer POV

We left the paddock a little after 8 PM because of the meetings Toto had, he ordered food and it was there when we got home. We ate in comfortable silence and then went our own ways. He went to his room and I went to mine. I took a shower, did my usual routine, and went to lie in bed. The shower should've helped but I still felt his hands on me, like the way he touched me had burned into my skin.

It felt like I felt his touch for days. He wasn't very expressive but with him, I felt desired. I felt like I mattered, he didn't force me, and the sexual attraction was there. I wasn't a given thing. I felt enough by his side, I knew I was too much at times but he kept his cool most of the time. I appreciate all that he is doing to protect me but I know it won't last forever.

I went to get a glass of water while scrolling through Instagram when I see a text from Felix. A few pictures of him and me on our wedding night. I entered hell that day and I already knew it when he took the first photo. My eyes were red and swollen from crying. He couldn't wait until I got comfortable, he didn't want to "waste" time in foreplay.

He slapped me three times that night and choked me several times until I almost passed out, I thought I was dying in each of them. I thought death was coming for me. He raped me that night, I cried, I pled, and I didn't understand how he just changed the moment the vows were exchanged. I had bled from how violent he was, I had trouble walking afterward. I had a swollen lip and cheek.

In the last picture, he was on top of me with his hand around my neck, which was completely bruised the next morning. I didn't even know he took a picture of how out of it I was. Rage filled me up. He knew what he was doing, he wanted me to be afraid. To leave Toto. I threw the glass to the floor as strongly as I could.

"Are you okay?" I hear Toto's voice and I completely tremble. I forgot where I was, I forgot I wasn't alone, and I was in such a state that I completely forgot everything. I looked at the glass shattered on the floor and I brought a hand to my mouth in shock of my state. I find myself in tears. I wipe them away and turn to a worried Toto.

"I am sorry, I will replace it. I- I am really sorry" I say still not believing what I had just done. This is his, not mine to break.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" He asks getting closer carefully to not step on anything. He knew something happened.

"Nothing happened. It fell" I say looking for the broom to clean the floor.

"I was in the living room, I saw you clearly throw it as stronger as you could. You could've gotten hurt" He says with the broom in his hand. I am not going to let him see the picture.

"Can we just let this one slide?" I ask nervously and he nods.

"That's fine by me. Tell me if I can help" He says while he finished cleaning my mess.

"I'm really sorry, you don't need to clean my mess. You've been doing too much" I say feeling guilty and he looks at me when he finishes.

"You are shaking Grace. I am not stupid, I know that piece of shit sent you something. Come find me if you need something, you know where I am" He says stopping by my side.

"Thank you" I say lowering my gaze.

"Rule about entering the bedroom has now been revoked, get in if you need something. If you are feeling like this it may get worse once you go to sleep and start overthinking, you can come to me. Otherwise, I will see you tomorrow. Get some rest" He says kissing my forehead before heading off.

I wasn't going to even think about his offer because I had been causing too many problems and had been taking too much of his time and attention. He is a workaholic, he must be dying inside at every minute away from his job. I also didn't want him to see the state I was in those pictures. I would also not trust myself to be able to sleep alone after sleeping in his arms once again.

I went to bed and fell asleep. But I quickly woke up with shortness of breath, I felt like he was here choking me, I was shaking terribly and I struggled to breathe. I got up and opened my window to catch some fresh air. Fuck.

I started to head to my door and opened it to find Toto's door in front of mine, opened up. He never left it open, it was his safe space from me. I struggled with my own will and went to the kitchen to get some cold water. I was heading back and the pictures crossed my mind. I decided that Toto wouldn't offer if it wasn't sincere. I entered and carefully lay next to him. He turned to my side and his arm circles my waist pulling my body closer to his.

"I'm here for you darling" He whispers right before kissing my neck.

"Thank you" I say feeling his scent invading my nostrils. He always smells so damn well and addictive.

"Stop the thank you's and sorry's" He says letting out a laugh and I feel his body embracing mine.

I slept like a baby. I woke up and realized I slept in, I don't even know how Toto was still asleep, he was normally up by 8 am but it's 10 am and here we are. I stretched out while yawning, I felt lighter, and I slept better than I had in the while. I picked up my phone and ignored the hundred messages I had of Felix. I saw my dad's text asking me to call him. Shit, did he see the pictures of us? I am done.