Back to the start line - Minsung

3.1 The third wheel

I'm in love with Lee Minho.

Yes, that weird but gorgeous man has messed me up and keeps on doing just that. He shakes my heart, my mind, my whole soul. He gets my feelings tangled and thoughts chaotic. He drives me crazy.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I might sound like a teenage girl having a massive, obsessive crush. This might sound like mindless rambling about some dumb puppy love. That's why I won't go into details, my mind is being way too mushy for clear thinking right now.

And Minho is the very reason behind that.

Minho is perfect, we all know that. We also know that literally everyone loves him. I have heard how girls as well as guys in school gossip about the dance god Lee Minho. How sexy he is, how godly his looks are, just how perfect he is.

I agree, I must admit. There is no shame because that is the truth.

I might consider myself as lucky because Minho and I are close and have been for a long time. Through the years we've only grown closer.

He has these covers on him. These stoney, colorless covers which don't tell much about him. Some would say he looks mean and indifferent, just based on his sharp featured poker face.

That isn't true though.

When one gets to know Minho better, the covers start to peel off, revealing Minho's true, natural self. And that is a wonder. A beautiful, positive eye opener.

From the inside Minho is full of colors. He's special and I'm lucky I happen to fit perfectly with him.

There are thousands of words to describe Lee Minho and every one of them being only positive, but I won't go into that. That list would be infinite, as it should.

Being in love feels conflicting at times.

The warmth, the good feeling is nice. When my heart speeds up and I feel fuzzy all over. It makes me want to giggle like a mad man, the stupid smile never leaving my face. It makes me want to jump on every passer by, tell them I love Minho, shout to the whole world I love Minho.

The happiness feels so different now.

On the contrary, being in love can feel terrifying as well. Because it's so capturing and trapping, I often catch myself being afraid. I have never felt something like this before, all of this being new to me in every way.

I'm unsure how to react, how to think of it, how to cope with it. I'm unsure what I'm supposed do exactly.

And it's scary because I haven't been caring about anything else lately. Just Mino. I could sacrifice my life for him, I could blead to death for him.

I just want Minho to be okay, feeling well and everything to be alright. I don't care about myself, how I might feel or how I might be hurting in the process.

Pain is nothing if it's for Minho. It's nothing but worth it.

I keep this whole realization in gatekeeping, behind the locked gates of my mind. No one knows and no one should know. Not yet, at least.

I don't think I'm ready yet.

Ready for what? I don't know.

Day by day, the more I see Minho, the more he plagues my brain. Nowadays, very little things, right out of the blue, remind me of Minho. I treasure every moment, every memory behind the dam and I won't let it break down.

I won't let it break me down.

I spend my days daydreaming, thinking of Minho, fantasising about him. Nothing too crazy, just how perfect he is and how much I adore him. How much I love him.