Washington (Twilight x Male OC)

21: Absence

Jasper was going insane. 

Or, more accurately, Angelo was driving him mad. 

He never explained to Carlisle what had happened that night and it had been weeks since then. Even an immortal vampire knew to drop something after that long. 

He had showered, and resolved to burn his clothes before anyone else in the house could smell him. He might have burned the car to, but luckily the smell was barely there. But Jasper hadn't burned the clothes, because he was an idiot. He kept them hidden deep in his closet. It was a dumb decision, they weren't even the clothes he had been wearing at the party, they were the ones he changed into after Angelo ripped the first set to shreds. 

However, he had worn them to carry Angelo home, so they still smelled like the human, though much less of sex. It was a small mercy. 

Vividly, he remembered changing clothes while he watched the human sleep in a graceless heap on the bed. He had wiped Angelo down, changed him into a random designer sweatshirt that had been left around the house, and brought him home. 

It had felt invasive, stepping into the hunter's bedroom. It looked so painfully normal too. Nothing like the stiff coldness of the Cullen house. Angelo's bedroom was full of normal teenage stuff, things Jasper didn't need and therefore didn't have. Blankets, some dirty laundry, posters for movies and bands.  

Jasper should have just left Angelo in the old house in the woods, coming here in the early morning was a risk. It was daytime and surprisingly sunny for Forks. 

At least Angelo's uncle wasn't there. He had never met him but if Angelo was any indication of his bloodline, he would rather avoid the man. 

He had thought then, as he did now, that it was strange that he was older than the other's uncle. The age gap wasn't something he considered before, he was always going to be older than any human. 

But it had hit him in that moment that Angelo was a real eighteen year old and Jasper was just an eternal 19 year old. 

In conclusion, he shouldn't have kept the clothes, they just acted like a siren's call, screaming out to him with memories of that night. 

Despite not needing to breathe, Jasper let out a wistful sort of sigh. 

"Humans have a way of drawing you in.". He wasn't startled by Edward's sudden appearance, he had heard someone coming. Though he was a little surprised it was his youngest adoptive sibling. He had been expecting someone like Rosalie or Esme trying to figure him out. 

Edward stared at Jasper for a second. "You think I don't understand." He observed, "I felt the same way with Bella.". 

Jasper shook his head. "You don't understand." He drawled good naturedly, staring out at the barren Alaskan landscape. It was nothing but rocks and patches of lichen as far as the eye could see. 

"I do." Edward replied simply, staring out into the distance with his brother. "They're like no one you've ever met before, like they're a completely different being. Its so easy for them to make you obsessed, they have the pull of a drug.". 

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "That's what you don't understand, probably cause you ain't old enough." He told Edward, "You love Bella, love her more than you wanna say.". 

Edward remained silent, his mouth screwed shut. Jasper's accent was more muted nowadays, he hadn't lived in the south in a very long time. The sun would make it much harder for them to hide like they can further north but somehow it seemed to resurface when he was deep in thought. 

"I've seen your thoughts. You have feelings for him too." Edward rasped. Jasper leveled him with a flat stare. 

"There's a big difference between feelins' and love." He told him. "Love ain't what you think it is, and I've made that mistake more times than I care to admit. Not gonna make it again.". 

"You love Alice." Edward challenged. "Don't you?". 

"I do." Jasper nodded, "Alice is different, taught me that what I had with Maria was nothin' but lies.". 

"Now I want you to set your head straight." He said, staring Edward down. "There's a big difference between fallin' in love with a human and having relations with a hunter. My feelins' are complicated, but not for the same reasons as yours. You need to understand that.". 

He knew Edward was going to have a hard time reconciling the fact. The only time he had ever felt a connection with a human after he became a vampire was Bella. None of the other Cullens connected with humans either, Jasper included. 

His only frame of reference was the strange sort of love he felt for Bella, so he couldn't quite wrap his head around how love was one way to make a connection, and lust was another. So was hatred, and both were poured in healthy doses into what had happened between Jasper and Angelo. 

The vampire sighed again, rising to his feet. This hadn't helped him think through a damn thing, Edward's rambling had only made him more confused. He knew Edward felt similarly about Bella, at least. Edward craved the feeling of the girl in his arms, of whispering sweet nothings to her and laying on the grass in a spring meadow. 

Jasper craved the feeling of Angelo's teeth in his neck. They made a great deal many promises that night-all the things they could do to destroy one another and it was tearing him apart wondering if Angelo would stick to them.

"If he's not like Bella, what is he then?" Edward asked, still trying to make sense of all of this. He had come here for answers, but he had only gotten more confused. 

Jasper just gave him a vacant stare before turning back to face the house. "The devil." He all but growled before he disappeared in a blur of speed. 

---------- ------------ --------- ---------- ----------- ------------- ----------- --------- 

This time, its not Edward that asks Jasper to go back to Forks. In fact, no one asks him, he does it of his own volition. 

He tells them he's going to meet an old friend in California, but he knows he's stopping in Washington and not going a single mile further. 

In his head he promises to actually check up on Bella this time. Make sure she's really okay. Its the least he can do after what happened the last time. 

That wasn't the main goal though, obviously. He was gonna stay in Forks until he figured out why he was going insane or managed to quench the desire he felt. 

He tried his best to appear normal to the other drivers around him as he white knuckled the steering wheel, preparing himself for whatever the hell he was getting himself into. 

'You're getting yourself killed' Was the instant reaction. Approaching the hunter had nearly gotten him killed the first time, it could be worse this time. 

Still, he felt himself driven to keep going, some cursed pit of longing in his chest propelling him forwards. 

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Wassuppppp

I'm baaaaaaaaack (●'◡'●)

Surprise! 

In all seriousness tho I've been super busy. Not like AO3 author 'I was hit by a bus' busy, just regular old busy! 

Its been an embarassingly long time but I do pay attention to the comments asking me to keep writing so...I'm gonna keep writing. 

That was very anticlimactic anyways fuck pacing I'm releasing every chapter I have written right now!!! All at once!! Who gives a fuck about regular updates when you can binge read?