TW: Mention of self harm and depression
"Hi." Evan said when Jared appeared on his doorstep the next day. Jared nodded his hello, pulled out his phone, and wandered inside Evan's house. He plopped himself down on the couch silently and messed around on his phone.
"So..."
"Look, Evan. I don't wanna talk, okay? I don't wanna discuss what happened. I'll be friendly, I'll talk about anything except for what happened."
"I was g-going to ask if you, um, have you... never mind."
"Come on then, tell me."
"I just wanna know if you're taking care of yourself."
Jared sighed loudly. "Won't talk about that either. I know the rules and I can break them if I want to."
"You can't break the rules without getting hurt though."
"And you care because...?"
"You're my uh, family friend."
"Family friend. Okay. Right. That doesn't qualify you to ask me about that kind of stuff."
"It used to."
Jared paused. This was true. Before, yes, Evan was allowed to ask this kind of thing. Before, Evan was the one who helped Jared with this kind of thing. The whole time. Through the entire thing. Even if Jared was rude to Evan, Evan had permission to be there for him, and ask him the personal questions.
"Yeah, well. After what you've done, your privileges have been revoked."
"Jared, I-"
"I don't need to hear you say sorry again. I don't need you to tell me that you never told anyone about my help. I don't need you to say that you were trying to help the Murphys. You've done the damage and now you have to deal with it that I'm not going to forgive you the instant you apologize."
Evan opened his mouth to apologize, then thought better of it. Jared had literally just said that he didn't want Evan to apologize.
"I'm fine, okay? You don't know how I feel. Stop convincing yourself that I'm not doing okay. Stop worrying about me." Jared said, holding off anger.
"But I do know how you feel, to some extent. I'm just, um. I'm just trying to help, Jared."
"Well. Stop."
"I-"
"Stop."
"Jared, I swear- Listen to me!" Evan cried desperately. Jared looked up from his phone, surprised at Evan's assertiveness. "I just... I need to know that you're okay."
Jared sighed loudly. "Okay, fine. I have not been slicing into myself with a kitchen knife to make myself feel better about always being depressed as heck. I haven't even picked at the skin under my fingernails, okay? I'm fine."
Evan nodded. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being safe."
"Evan, you ruined my life. I don't need you to randomly care now."
"Then why are you here?"
"I have nothing better to do." Jared shrugged.
YOU ARE READING
All Because Mom Wanted Ice Cream
FanfictionEvan knows he messed up. He knows it he knows it he knows it. It's one of the only things he knows at this point. He needs something else. Anything to distract him from the things he's done. Jared knows he messed up. He should have shut up and hel...
